T Minus 2 Sleeps
Surgery's happening EARLY Tuesday morning, and I should have spent all day today getting ready - cleaning the house, getting groceries, and a whole list of other responsible things. Instead, I spent the day with Geoff + Briony. We went for brunch and then headed out to the MTS Centre to watch the men's gold medal hockey game with a few thousand other Winnipeggers (and it got ROWDY in there!). Then we came home and put Briony to bed before crashing on the couch to watch the closing ceremonies.
What did I get done on my list today? NOTHING. And I'm perfectly happy to say that. My heart is all torn up thinking about the wife and mommy I'm NOT going to be this week. It meant the world to me that the three of us to just relax and hang out together today.
I think that the thing that worries me the most right now is that I don't know what to expect from my recovery - so it's hard to know exactly what to plan for. Especially because I woke up this morning in a full-on arthritic flare that I'm guessing surgery won't help. BLECH. But we'll figure it out. I'll learn to be flexible and give up some measure of control over my own life, I suppose (...grumble...). And if we handle this badly, at least Briony's young enough to forget ;)
Labels: Attack of the Gallbladder, My Life
Friday Smile
I am SO LOVING all the medals for Canadian women! We've always known that Canadian women are strong, brave, talented, and determined. Now the rest of the world knows too :)
Seriously. Look at the list of women walking away from these Olympic games having made such an incredible impact on us all... Kristy Richards. Joannie Rochette. Clara Hughes. What an incredible bunch of role models. My greatest wish for Briony is that she would learn about life from women like these, and that she'll demonstrate the same kind of grace under pressure and commitment to making her goals and dreams a reality.
Looking for another reason to smile this weekend? Check out the
Red Mitten Flash Mob video.
Labels: Friday Smile
Bugs
Two things...
1. Does EVERYONE have the stomach flu?! It's disturbing to me how many people have posted stomach-flu-related status updates on Facebook or stuff on their blogs. I have a mortal fear of the stomach flu, and I am literally scared to leave my house right now. (Of course, I did - to go to work. But I'm disinfecting like I have OCD.)
2. I have an epic travel bug right now. Yes, that's right - I said epic. I find myself online almost every day, researching trips and figuring out how much I'd need to save every month to be able to pull it off. The funniest thing is that I don't even know where I want to go, I just want to GO. Of course, there's a short list, but the fact that we haven't travelled since I got pregnant means that this is the longest I've ever gone without going and exploring a new place... And I miss it. There are so very many places that I still want to see - and some of them aren't exotic or unattainably expensive at all. Can you believe that I've never been to New York? I've never been to New York. And I know exactly how much I'd need to put away in order to go there at the beginning of December when it's all magical and Christmassy and super-commercialized (with Wicked tickets included, of course). And I've figured out exactly how much extra freelance work I'd need to do in order to make it happen. SIGH. A girl can dream, right? :)
Labels: Nothing Important, Travel
Awesome
A while back, we were running very low on hand soap for the bathroom. I went to go buy some and they were sold out of the foaming kind that I like, so I picked up the regular kind instead. We finished the regular soap and I replaced it with a fresh new bottle of foaming hand soap yesterday. Why does foaming hand soap make me so happy? IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME SOAP. It just comes out foamy. But it's so much more awesome.
Know what else is kind of awesome? Peanut butter. I've eaten the natural peanut butter - or almond butter - for YEARS now, but I needed some regular old peanut butter for a recipe and so I have a little bit left in a tiny jar in my kitchen. I put it on my toast this morning and was like 'Oh, THIS is why people hate natural peanut butter.' And I didn't like it at the beginning either, but I knew it was better for me and so I stuck it out - and I ended up enjoying it. Or so I thought. It turns out that I just got used to it. And now I'll apparently need to start all over again.
The same thing happened when Geoff accidentally brought me a regular latte from Starbucks a few months ago. I was like OH MY GOD, this is why people order regular lattes. Until that moment, I'd been perfectly happy LOVING nonfat lattes. And I do again. But that first nonfat latte after the regular latte was just a tiny bit disappointing to me.
Yeah. I need to stop blogging and go work now.
Labels: Nothing Important
Ordinary Miracle
I am NOT feeling well this week. Since yesterday evening, I've been in a full-on flare up. And I had a client email yesterday to see if I could come into their office for a couple of hours today. I said yes, thinking that I'd just power through and do it - but I woke up this morning and was lying in bed trying not to cry just thinking about the effort it was going to take to make that happen.
I got an email this morning letting me know that it actually works better for them if I come tomorrow, as previously arranged. I have SO MUCH to get done today - but I can do it all at home, in my pyjamas. When I realized that, the tears really started to come.
This morning, I'm blown away that God cares about stuff this insignificant.
Labels: Arthritis/Fibromyalgia, Going Rogue, Ordinary Miracle
Garbage Day
I really hate missing Garbage + Recycling Day. How much? A whole blog post worth of hate.
Labels: Nothing Important
Mommy Math
1 non-napping baby
+
1 cup of English Breakfast tea from Cornelia Bean
+
1 total comfort food dinner in the oven
-
GETTING ANY WORK DONE AT ALL
=
Still a pretty decent afternoon. But I'm dreading the late-night work marathon that's coming once Briony's in bed tonight...
Labels: Mommy Stuff
Classic Playdate
I must say, I believe that Nicole and I managed to pull off the very definition of a classic playdate this morning. I think that we started about nine thousand conversations and finished zero conversations... hehe. And at the end of it, we had three adorable children in strollers who were oh so ready for their respective naptimes.
For the record, Miss Eloise is every bit as gorgeous in person as she is in photos.
Oh, and I haven't seen Briony walk yet. Not one step. She was laughed at by a few parents in the play place this morning because she'd crawl around like a little fiend and then pause and chatter away to me - it shocked them to hear WORDS coming from her. 'What's this? Duck! Quack, quack. Look! Duck.' 'Mama... Look! Choo choo.' 'Babies! Look! What's this... Babies. Hi! Hi, babies!' Of course, there's still lots of wordless baby babble too, but it's amazing to start to listen to her process everything that's going on around her.
Labels: Briony, Mommy Stuff, Nicole
Surprise! It's MONDAY
OH MY GOD is it Monday.
We're in between #1 and #2 of Geoff's three night shifts this week, and I'm up to my eyeballs in my own work. The full weight of our decision to both work full time while only having childcare for Briony set up for one day a week is hitting me HARD today.
Today was totally one of those days where Briony was in front of the television with her sippy cup and a container of Cheerios by 10 am so that I could get some work done. SHUDDER. All those things we said we wouldn't do when we became parents... :)
Have I mentioned that she's pretty much finished with her morning nap? Because she's pretty much finished with her morning nap. And I'm not really okay with that yet (as if I get to choose, hehe). It's going to be great as soon as she's truly ready for it - that one nap is EPIC and GLORIOUS - but in the meantime, it just means that the time between when she would normally have her morning nap and the time when she actually goes down for a nap in the afternoon is not exactly a picnic.
For the record, 'not exactly a picnic' today meant that - while I was on the phone with a client - she got into a drawer that she KNOWS she's not supposed to play with. And I interrupted the call about nineteen times to say NO. But she did it anyway, and closed one of her tiny little fingertips into said drawer. HYSTERICS. I finally called my client back about about half an hour later, and let me say that I am so very grateful for the clients I have who are parents themselves. It's mortifying to be so unprofessional sometimes. Again, the things we swore we would never do... I can remember with perfect clarity sitting at my desk all cute and professional and proclaiming to Christine and Dolly that I would NEVER be that freelancer who had a kid fussing in the background, patting my pregnant belly so smugly. SIGH.
Anyway. She's having a great nap now. I managed to get my short list of house cleaning stuff done (I still dream of the day when the whole list gets done... I would be a brand new woman, I swear). I have successfully completed my short list of client deadlines for today (again, I remember blissfully what it felt like to occasionally GET AHEAD). But what I really need is to shower. And to make myself a cup of tea. And to figure out some sort of device that would let me shower and drink tea at the same time.
This is EXACTLY what They mean when They say that you can't have it all. But I am SO determined to prove Them wrong. I'll keep you posted on how that's going :)
Labels: Briony, Going Rogue, Mommy Stuff, My Life
Monday Secret
More secrets every week at the
Post Secret website. Which one was your favourite?
Labels: Monday Secret
Step Two
Okay, so Step One was being super excited that I'm finally getting this lousy gallbladder of mine exorcized from my body next week.
Step Two is apparently feelings of overwhelming pressure and trepidation. Because now all the logistics are starting to become an issue. For the record, having a toddler and being self-employed are both things that are not especially conducive to taking time off to have surgery. The timing is actually kind of amazing, though, for an unscheduled surgery and Geoff will be home to help for almost the whole time that I'll need him.
Almost.
Argh.
And this week is looking more and more like it's going to be a marathon as I try to get my clients and my family as ready as I can for me to be MIA for almost a week. Which would be overwhelming all on its own, but I've also spent the last two days in a battle against my body just willing it to cooperate and not succumb to this flare up that's simmering right beneath the surface. Because that would really make things interesting.
I know that we'll figure it all out... It's just feeling like a chess game right now. AND I MAJORED IN ENGLISH.
So I'm going to take this non-mathematical brain to bed and worry about it again tomorrow.
Labels: Attack of the Gallbladder
Oh, Canada...
It's a little bit painful to watch all of these fourth and fifth place finishes.
It's infinitely more painful to hear people's negative comments about it.
These people made it to the freaking Olympics. They've trained for most of their lives, at a level that you and I can likely not even begin to understand - all to become among the best in the world at what they do and get a chance to represent *us* in the Olympics. After all of that - and with the additional pressure of wanting so badly to win in Canada - they've managed to place fourth among every person in the entire world.
STAND UP AND CHEER. And be freaking proud that we're all Canadian. They deserve every bit of our love and respect. (And you can tell them that
here.)
And let's cheer just a little bit louder for
Joannie Rochette, okay? Whether or not she decides to skate this week. My heart seriously hurts whenever I think about how hard that would be for anyone to deal with - let alone such a young girl competing at the Olympics.
(Steps down from soapbox and goes to make some popcorn for the third period...)
By the way, I'm still trying to decide if my grace will extend to our men's hockey team :)
Labels: One of Lindsay's Rants
Baby + Kids Extravaganza (and Discotheque)
Yesterday, Geoff + I decided to take Briony to go check out the Baby + Kids Show here in Winnipeg. Since then, I've been trying to figure out what I would say about it. I'm still not entirely sure, because I'm processing it from both a marketing perspective and a mommy perspective.
But here's a collection of related thoughts, in no particular order...
There were lots of babies there. And kids. And parents. It was hilarious to me to be standing in a looong line to get in, surrounded by exactly Those Parents who would usually be making some kind of huge fuss about being forced to wait in line with small children... But this time, EVERYONE in the line had small children. And so they were forced to suffer, sans special treatment. It was pretty funny.
There were lots of financial companies giving away random toys and branded backpacks, but only one with a draw to give away an RESP. I thought that was super weird, because that prize seemed pretty obvious to me. I seriously don't want a backpack with your company's name on it. Seriously, seriously not. But I'm all over winning a boost toward our savings for Briony's future education.
There were lots of booths for cloth diapers, fabric baby slings, and ribbon pacifier clips and barrettes. But they were not as good as Kari-Ann's stuff, and no one was offering anything more than that. That was a small hint for next year :)
There were lots of things missing. Obviously, a good portion of the booths were set up for people who were expecting or people with very small babies. But there were so many things - particularly for toddlers - that were just simply overlooked. Where was the City of Winnipeg promoting all their Leisure Guide programs? Where were the myriad businesses that offer pre- and post-natal fitness? There were a few, but not many. Where were all the toddler music and dance and gymnastic programs? Again, seriously underrepresented. Where were the book stores with all their parenting and kids' books on display (with a family reading corner), or the music stores with all their kids' CDs that parents aren't sick of yet, or the malls promoting some kind of mallwalking programs for moms with kids in strollers? And one (kind of lame) keynote speaker? Really? SIGH.
There were lots of local baby stores set up, which probably would have been more interesting to someone who doesn't regularly stop by to see what's new. Or if they had done something more original with their spaces than just recreating a small representation of their store in a booth. Or if they had shown any imagination at all.
Which brings us to our almost-final point. There were lots of non-ideas there. It was pitiful, actually. It's a show all about BABIES and KIDS. So freaking have some fun. Come up with something unique and a little bit crazy. At least TRY to get my attention (or Briony's).
Overall, contrary to what this review probably suggests, it wasn't a waste of time. I came away with a few new things to check out and got a few questions answered by visiting some of the booths. But it certainly didn't rock my world.
We were just finishing up our tour when I hit two booths in five minutes where middle-aged women either congratulated me on Baby #2. That pretty much brought the fun and games to a SCREECHING HALT. I mean, seriously... WHY. I've been trying to shake it off ever since, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't burst into tears almost immediately. Well, immediately after I did everything in my power to try to make sure the offender didn't feel bad about what she said. Again, WHY.
Labels: Mommy Stuff, Out and About
Friday Smile
I am seriously digging this website (pardon the lame geeky pun):
Working Moms Against Guilt. There are some absolutely incredible links and articles here that I wish I would have found many, many months ago. And look at today's post -
new Yo Gabba Gabba coming SOON! So happy that I'm not the only mom who's excited about that :)
Labels: Friday Smile, Going Rogue, Mommy Stuff, Stuff I Found Online, Stuff I Read
A Big Day
Two rather significant things happened in my life today...
1. My surgeon had a cancellation and I'm getting my gallbladder out on Tuesday, March 2. YAY YAY YAY!!! I'm so excited, I'm using multiple exclamation points (and THAT is EXCITED). I'm still wrapping my head around exactly what that will mean in terms of child care, work, and my family - but we'll figure it out. If I need anything at all, you can rest assured that you'll be hearing from me... I'm a girl who's capable of asking for help when I need it. And I think we might need it next month. I know it's a fairly insignificant surgery as far as surgeries go, but I won't be allowed to lift Briony for two weeks minimum and I *always* have a fibromyalgia flare post-surgery.
2. Briony cried when I left her at Moms Group this morning for the first time EVER. It broke my heart when the grandmas in charge of childcare kicked me out of the room and assured me she'd be fine. But she was fine. And two hours later when I came back for her, she was happily reading books with one of them, cuddled up in a rocking chair. And then this conversation happened:
Grandma #1:
"She sure likes books, doesn't she?"
Lindsay:
"Yup."
Grandma #1:
"I don't think I've ever met a baby who loves books as much as she does. You must read to her a lot."
Lindsay:
"I guess so... But she'll go find books on her own, and usually likes to look at them more than she likes to play with her toys. I guess it explains why she's talking but not walking."
Grandma #1:
(looking at me strangely)
"But she walks..."
Lindsay:
"Oh yeah, well, holding on to stuff."
Grandma #1:
(still confused)
"But I saw her walk today. She was standing up at that chair over there and took two or three steps over to the table with the toys."
Lindsay:
(stunned silence)
Grandma #1:
(quickly figuring out what's going on)
"Um, maybe I'm mixing her up with another kid... Let me double check."
(calls over to another grandma)
"Did you see any of these babies walk today?"
Grandma #2:
"Yes. Briony walked two or three steps in between that chair over there and the table with the toys."
Lindsay:
"Totally on her own?"
Grandmas #1 and #2:
"Totally on her own."
Grandma #1:
(looking at me wide-eyed)
"Oh no! I shouldn't have said anything!"
Lindsay:
(laughing it off and speaking casually)
"Well, if I didn't see it, then it didn't happen."
And then I cried all the way home. Because even though I WORK FROM HOME, I missed Briony's first steps. It's going to sound strange, but I knew that I would. I knew from the time she was born that I was going to miss them. But I hoped in my heart that the person who got to witness them - Geoff or Katie or my parents or whoever - was someone who knew what they were seeing... And that's why I cried enough that I should have bought shares in Kleenex.
(Of course, she hasn't walked at all this afternoon... And I'm watching her LIKE A HAWK, hehe.)
Labels: Attack of the Gallbladder, Briony, Milestones
Symptom of a Tough Week
I just had a phone conversation that went something like this:
Person On The Phone:
"Hello, this is Gabrielle for Geoff. I'm calling from Cancer Screening..."
Lindsay:
(heart starting to pound, tears welling up, 0 to 100 on the panic metre in 0.1 seconds flat...)
"Sorry... You're calling from WHERE?!"
Person On The Phone:
(slightly bewildered-sounding)
"From Camps With Meaning... Geoff volunteers with us as a camp nurse in the summers."
Yikes :)
Labels: Nothing Important, The Boy
Gong Show
Today has been a series of ridiculous events, mostly related to parking in downtown Winnipeg.
Want a sneak peek? I submit these random moments for your consideration:
An underground parking lot this morning that gives out tickets even when the lot is entirely full. I finally snagged a spot after 20 minutes of circling. Awesome.
When I left, the parking attendant handed me back $2.00 in change... Change that included nothing larger than a quarter and involved large quantities of nickels, dimes, and pennies. Awesome.
An above-ground parking lot this afternoon that posts a rate of $8.00 in *change only* (no cash, because that would make too much sense). I counted out $8.00 and slid across the parking lot in impractical footwear only to discover that although the SIGN said $8.00, the MACHINE said $8.50. So it was back to my car (and then back again... and then forth again) for fifty measly cents. Awesome.
See what I mean? :)
I'm a pro at parking downtown - I've been doing it almost every day since I was 18 years old - and I usually find Winnipeg a very easy city to navigate parking-wise. But every once in a while, I totally lose. Today was (obviously) one of those days.
I only have to go home from here, but I'm seriously expecting some random obstacle in my parking spot behind the house.
Labels: Bitching About Nothing
2026
Okay, seriously. Briony starts training in snowboard cross TOMORROW. Or the day after she learns how to walk... I'm hoping for a gold medal at the 2026 Olympic Winter Games (hosted on the moon, probably) - I could totally be one of those parents looking crazy and cheering my heart out in head-to-toe red and white ;)
Bets on how many baby Maelle's will be born in Canada this year?
Labels: Briony, Current Events
Seriously?
I thought that vaccinations were supposed to make babies MORE sleepy?! I'm still waiting for the first nap of the day to happen... And I have a crapload of work to get done this afternoon. BOO.
Labels: Bitching About Nothing, Mommy Stuff
Before / After
I don't think I've talked about it since I made The Decision, but I am SO HAPPY that I went on anti-depressants. The meds - and the fact that they are working as well as they are - play a huge part in my ability to work and be a mom and not make everyone around me cry in the process. (Other than that guy in Superstore... But that's another story for another day.)
I can't remember the last time I felt more like ME. And the side effects are pretty much non-existent, other than one that I hadn't counted on at all.
You see, a funny thing happens when one spouse goes on anti-depressants. It gives the other spouse free license to question every ounce of regular human emotional reaction they witness and ask if said emotional spouse has taken their meds today. Which causes the emotional spouse to become EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL.
Sigh.
The one and only thing I miss about My Life Before Anti-Depressants is that ability to react authentically (and it's not only Geoff who is watching me). I feel like I'm still Lindsay - with all the ups and downs and occasional drama that go along with being Lindsay. But now I'm Lindsay Under A Microscope. And I'm not really sure how I feel about that.
Labels: A Little Bit Crazy, Married Stuff
Happy Valentine's Day
Not feeling particularly festive this weekend?
Check this out. Then go spread some sunshine. I know that I will :)
Wishing all my readers a life full of love and someone to share it with.
PS - Sunday @ 16.25
I just got back from a walk with Geoff + Briony. We spent an hour leaving random 'you are loveable' post-its all over the neighbourhood - inside newspapers at 7-11, on the bathroom mirror at Starbucks, inside mailboxes, on crosswalk posts... I think that was the most fun way I've ever celebrated Valentine's Day :)
Labels: Holiday Awesomeness, Stuff I Found Online
One Moment With Briony
Briony did NOT want me to take away the spoon we were using at breakfast today. She's been playing with it all day. I just went into the living room and caught her using it to pretend to feed her stuffed hippo, then she grabbed her pj's off the pile of laundry I just folded on the ottoman and tried putting them on the hippo (failing miserably - obviously - because SHE'S A BABY), then picked him up and was snuggling him and giving him kisses and whispering in his ear.
It sometimes weirds me out what a little mommy she is. I have no idea where she learned it (hehe).
Labels: One Moment With Briony
SO Much Fun
I just took a call from someone on behalf of the Conservative party, asking if I would consider making a donation.
I took SO MUCH PLEASURE in informing them that my family was unable to give them money because I'm a new mom working freelance - and their government did not follow through on their last campaign promise to extend benefits like maternity leave to freelance workers or EI for people who lose their jobs at the end of their maternity leave.
:)
Yeah. Good luck with that.
Oh, and Mr Harper? Your black quilted Canada jacket at last night's ceremony looked incredibly stupid. Just sayin'.
Labels: Current Events, Mommy Stuff, One of Lindsay's Rants
Insecure Mommy Day
I'm going to coin that phrase, by the way. It's an amazing phenomenon. I can go days or weeks feeling like it's all good and it's all under control, and then I have a day where I'm just overwhelmed by everything I think I'm doing wrong. An Insecure Mommy Day.
Why? Well, seeing you asked... :)
Have I mentioned recently that Briony's still not walking? She's still not walking. She'll be fifteen months old on Tuesday. She's an alarmingly fast crawler, she's totally capable of standing, and she's seriously awesome at scooting around furniture and getting absolutely everywhere she wants to go. But she's not walking. I know that's not totally unheard of, but it's still undeniably late. I was doing really well with that and not really worrying (mostly because the same book that says she 'should' be able to walk well by now also says that an advanced baby her age 'might' be able to say up to six words - ha!). And I refuse to be one of those moms who's so concerned that she dedicates all kinds of time and energy to trying to force their baby to walk. She'll do it when she's ready, just like she's hit every other milestone exactly when BRIONY 'should.'
But.
I have HAD IT with random people asking incredulously EVERY SINGLE DAY: 'She's not walking yet?!' Some will even go so far as to ask if the pediatrician is worried and if something could be wrong. The next person who says it is seriously either getting kicked out of my house or I will walk away from them mid-sentence. It's so toxic to play that game, and I want none of that for my family. There is nothing wrong with my perfect baby girl. I'm 99% sure of that. But that last 1% motivated me to book an appointment for her next week - mostly so I can feel like a good mom again, and a little bit so that I can tell those annoying people that the pediatrician isn't worried at all. (She'll also be getting her 12 month shots. I delayed them just because I wasn't crazy about the idea of suppressing her immune system right before we dragged her all over malls and family gatherings during the holidays.)
And we're still waiting for those stupid molars to come through. Three have been partway through for a couple of weeks now, and the fourth is coming very, very soon. And what a giant pain the @$$ they've been. There is so little I can do to make her happy. Yesterday, after losing the battle over her second nap, I finally just curled up on the couch with her and we snuggled and watched 'Shaun the Sheep' (one of her favourites). It made me feel like a lousy mom to use television as my solution, but it worked - and we had a great time giggling at the silly sheep and pigs.
I know it's a totally false perception that there a perfect moms out there. I was just *so* determined to be the first. And I think that at least some of my insecurity this weekend is coming from the fact that I've been away from her because of work so much more lately - which is the new normal for our family. I miss her like crazy. But I know that she's happy and very well taken care of. I just need to get over the fact that it's not ME taking care of her.
I'm also working through some major guilt that comes from my recent realization that I really, really like going to work. There. I said it. I LIKE WORKING. I don't know why that's been such a shock for me after a decade of pursuing this career... I love being a mommy. But I love my work too. It's hard for me to get ready and walk out the door, away from my baby girl - but once I do, I'm finding all kinds of feelings of fulfillment. I don't want to do it every day - our current set-up where I'm gone for two half-days + meetings is PERFECT. But I am really happy at work right now, and really enjoying the clients I'm working with. And that scares me. Good moms aren't supposed to go to work and be happy about it.
Labels: Briony, Can You Handle The Truth?, Going Rogue, Mommy Stuff
My Briony
My sister-in-law Caitlin took this photo of Briony while we were visiting them last month. There's just something really special about it... It makes my heart happy.
Labels: Briony, Caitlin, Photos
I Hate Sequels
There's really no sense in beating around the bush. I think I'm now free to share that my family heard The C Word again. It's my Grandma. We're still waiting for details about what's coming - all we know for now is that it's likely treatable, that surgery to remove the tumour was likely successful, and that chemo is likely in her near future. We're still waiting for the final pathology report.
I don't really know what else to say. I sense there's a lot of emotion coming, but for right now I feel pretty numb. It wasn't what we wanted to hear - but I still believe that God is with our family, and I still believe that He is bigger than cancer.
Labels: Family, The C Word
No Rest For The Wicked
In this case, WICKED = BACK AT WORK. Yikes! It is absolutely amazing how many things one person can accomplish in a day that - as always - contains a mere 24 hours.
I've been back at work for a few months now, but it's been getting steadily busier... It all kind of built up to December and the entire month was crazy before things cooled off over the holidays. January started off slow but picked up momentum quickly - and before I knew it, I was balancing projects and offers that were entirely unanticipated. I've definitely been hitting 40 hours/week lately.
It's all good. If it wasn't, I've said no. That's the absolutely beautiful thing about being busy.
In the midst of all of this, I've also started twice-a-week physiotherapy - because I have time to run downtown for that. Ha! But it's all part of my resolution to take better care of myself this year. I've been trying to keep up with friends, but not doing as well as I would like to. One thing I've been moderately successful in is keeping some things for me on the agenda - things like yoga, moms group, and massages. I'm trying very hard to make sure that one of those things happen every week. Because I know it's true that I'm a better mom and a better person if I take time to take care of myself first. There are days when I feel incredibly guilty for doing it (but not guilty enough to change my plans).
I've been falling into bed exhausted, but with this incredible feeling that I've done important things with my time and energy. And it's making me appreciate the moments I have with my baby girl in a new way. I don't think I've ever taken my time with her for granted, but that awareness has been elevated to another level lately.
I'm trying to learn to live more mindfully - to be more aware of what I'm spending my time doing and concentrating on the moment that's in front of me instead of wasting it worrying about the next thing that's coming. It's definitely a journey, but one that I honestly believe will be worth it.
Labels: Going Rogue, Married Stuff, Mommy Stuff
Monday Secret
Labels: Monday Secret
Back Scratching
Before I collapse into bed in preparation for a completely ridiculous Monday, I need to take a minute to acknowledge how very wonderful my husband is. I don't think it's a secret that I dated a heck of a lot of frogs to find him, and it was worth every single exploratory kiss to find him (sorry honey).
I am very aware of the fact that our family's schedule is crazy and non-traditional... Geoff and I are both working close to full-time - at completely random and constantly changing hours of the day and days of the week - and Briony's not in daycare at all (THANK GOD for Katie, who does an absolutely amazing job at filling in those little gaps when we are both working at the same time). But we couldn't do it at all if I didn't have a husband who totally and completely understands how important my career is to me - and gives it equal respect. The fact that we've been able to trade off so equally has brought me to tears a few times over the last couple of days. It feels so... modern ;)
This week, Geoff took on Daddy Duty at a brand new level and didn't miss a beat. I don't even think he blinked. And knowing that I am so very supported at home lets me go and be awesome at my job - which is an incredible gift, especially for this mommy who misses her noisy giggly baby girl SO MUCH when she's away.
Geoff knows all this. I just felt like it needed to be documented and sent out into the universe somehow... I had no idea how I was ever going to be able to do the mommy thing and the career thing at the same time, and I am constantly being amazed by the doors that are opening up and the way the universe is shifting to allow this to happen for our family in this season of our lives. We are blessed, and my heart is happy. Tired. But happy.
Labels: Family, Going Rogue, Katie, Married Stuff, Mommy Stuff, The Boy
One Word
There's a forward going around that's landed in my Inbox a couple of times this week. Instead of sending it around, I figured I'd throw it up here. Feel free to leave a comment!
DESCRIBE ME IN ONE WORD... JUST ONE WORD.
Looking forward to some strange and interesting revelations :)
Labels: From My Inbox
Friday Smile
In anticipation of Sunday's big game (or as it's known in Lindsay's world, The Night When All The Good Commercials Are On), check out some of these awesome football-inspired
Cake Wrecks.Labels: Friday Smile
Shocking Story
This article is simultaneously making me want to puke and making me feel justified in being SO CAREFUL about wires and electrical things lying around our home (or anywhere we go). I know it's an exceptional situation, but this is a true case of 'better safe than sorry.'
And I'm SO SORRY about the pun. It just slipped out of my fingertips and I could not stop it.
Labels: Mommy Stuff, Stuff I Found Online
Monday Secret
(I knew it!)
Labels: Monday Secret
Kind Of A Big Deal
I feel like I've been saying this a lot lately, but once again...
Today was a very good day for my little freelance business.
I had two meetings today, and they got incrementally crazier. In the morning, I accepted two new projects from one of my newer clients that I'm really excited about. And then in the afternoon, I was offered 20 hours a week from a different client. Yeah. That's half-time (but still freelance). Which isn't something I was really considering at this point in the game... But in keeping with some of my recent musings, sometimes change can kind of catch you off guard. But that doesn't mean it isn't GOOD change.
We're working out the details and I'm trying to figure out what this will look like for our family. My head is spinning a little bit at the moment, but I have every confidence that I'll soon find my balance again. And that I'll be pointed in the right direction.
Labels: Going Rogue
