I'm not 30 for *almost* another year, but I've been thinking a lot about my 30x30 list (oh, come on, you knew it was coming).
I came across this online today - an OLD article from Glamour magazine that was shared online by another blogger staring down the barrel at her upcoming 30th birthday - and it made me smile...
By 30, you should have: One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you how far you've come. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying. A youth you're content to move beyond. A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it. An email address, a voice mailbox and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. Something ridiculously expensive that bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. The belief that you deserve it. A skin-care regimine, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know: How to fall in love without losing yourself. How you feel about having kids. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. When to try harder and when to walk away. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town. How to live alone, even if you don't like to. How to take control of your own birthday. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over. What you would and wouldn't do for money or love. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault. Why they say life begins at 30.
Guess I'll be ready to turn 30 next year after all :)
I read this earlier in the week and I've been back a bunch more times to read it again - a lovely little post from Redhead Writing entitled How Avocados Changed My Life and Other Work-Life Bullshit (I'm going to add a PG13 warning to this link).
How many times have we missed out on something just because we're scared? Or decided that we didn't like something - without ever even giving it a chance?
So many times, I feel myself pursuing things that I don't even necessarily WANT - but I feel pressure to want them anyway just because I SHOULD. The more birthdays I have, the better I get at sorting through all the crap to find the heart of the matter and figuring out what I want. It's a good thing I still have so many more birthdays to go :)
This is my life. I can't control everything about it, but I can choose how I live it. I am so grateful to have married a man who supports me wholeheartedly in this pursuit, and whose journey parallels mine in so many ways.
I'm going to stop saying SHOULD. And I'm going to eat more avocados (they are SO YUMMY).
This is *far* from the first time I've talked about how much I appreciate ChronicBabe.com (and Jenni, the fabulous ChronicBabe who runs it). I got my weekly newsletter today and it just got me RIGHT HERE and summed up exactly what I've been trying to figure out how to say about this latest complication in my life - and how I'm trying to deal with it. I got Jenni's permission to share the whole thing here, in hopes that I'm not the only one out there who will find encouragement in her words.
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“You can’t live your whole life in passive voice,” my pal Amanda said recently. We were talking about how complicated life gets and how easy it can be to blame outside forces for all the negativity we experience. There are some people who walk through this life feeling like victims, getting overwhelmed and frustrated by bad circumstances - and letting those situations get the best of them.
Those people are living in passive voice. They focus on what happened to them, what someone else did, what they were told to do. When you’re sick, and tired, it’s easy to fall into that rhythm; once you’re there, it’s hard to get out of it. And then you become a victim, someone to whom life just happens.
Now please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to say we aren’t allowed to get pissed off or depressed about things that happen. Of course we are! But when that’s ALL we can see, when we can’t ALSO see what WE can do about our situation, then we’re in trouble.
But you’re here, reading this and working on being a ChronicBabe - and that means you’re not living in passive voice. You’re not just letting life happen to you. You’re a fighter! A rock star! A creative thinker who’s looking for solutions! You’re fabulous! You’re a ChronicBabe!
I get really excited about this subject because it holds so much power. When we develop the ability to step back a little, to see the bigger picture of our situation, we not only see what has happened to us; we begin to see what we can do to make our lives better. We see the people surrounding us, who can help us in many ways. We see that we’re able to change, adapt, and grow emotionally. That we can get stronger. That we can take charge of the direction of our life.
Yes, you are sick. Yes, that sucks. Yes, there are other frustrating forces in your life. I can relate. There are some days when it feels like too much, and I want to blame someone else for my situation. I want to blame someone (or something) else for making me late to a meeting, or for eating candy when I should be eating an apple, or for not landing the freelance writing gig I badly wanted. But if I sit back and blame something else, I become a victim, and then I’m living in passive voice - I’m just letting life roll over me, not taking responsibility for what I can do. What I CAN do is set a second alarm clock so I’m not late, I can buy fruit at the nearby farmer’s market so I have healthy snacks in the house, and I can work harder to create presentations that impress clients with my awesomeness. I don’t have total control over my situation, but I can do SOMETHING.
This is a big piece of the ChronicBabe puzzle, Babes. Do not live in the passive voice. Do not take the easy route and play victim to your circumstances. When you can, stand back and observe. Find your options, and take charge of the things you can change or improve. It’s not usually the easy way, but trust me: You’ll feel better for taking responsibility, and for being an active participant in your life. I promise to keep practicing what I preach! (And I know my pals will call me on my B.S. if I don’t.)
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Need some ChronicBabe wisdom in your life? You can sign up to receive Jenni's weekly newsletters in your own inbox http://www.chronicbabe.com/media/newsletters (and I highly recommend it).
I've been working a lot lately on spending my time consciously - on working more efficiently so that I have more time and energy left for MY LIFE. It's so freeing to start to ask questions like 'how does this fit with my goal of having a balanced life?' and 'will this make my family happier?' and 'why am I doing this in the first place?'
It's kind of amazing, actually. Yes, I'm saying NO a little more often. But by saying NO to the things that don't have a place in the life I want to live, I'm able to say YES to some other things - things that make me happy. Of course, BALANCE isn't a destination - it's a journey. But every decision I make to live my life more consciously keeps me on that path.
I think we can all do a better job of pursuing balance. This week, I'm making a promise to myself to keep my work inside boxes of dedicated Work Time - and to walk away from my laptop and live my life in between.
Geoff and I are admitted news junkies, and we've been fascinated with the BP oil spill along with the rest of the world. I came across this website today that helps you to visualize the magnitude of the disaster by showing you the current size of the oil spill over a map of your house (and that's today... imagine how it will have grown by August... kind of makes me want to puke). Then this article uses the same technology to show actual states - and COUNTRIES - that are SMALLER than the oil spill today.
So. Geoff came home with a minivan brochure last week. A MINIVAN BROCHURE. As in a BROCHURE about MINIVANS. And I did what every mature almost thirty year old mother would do... I threw a little hissy fit. Because there is just no way that I'm okay with driving a minivan. I know that other people do, and that's awesome for them, I just CAN'T. I take crap from my friends for my 'soccer mom car' - I can't even fathom the fallout from a MINIVAN.
Whew.
Shake it off, Lindsay.
Anyway.
My drama queen minivan-related emotions aside, we've been thoroughly enjoying the Toyota Sienna campaign in the Wright household. I laugh at the commercials every single time. And when the campaign music video 'Swagger Wagon' launched, I laughed until my stomach hurt... Hopefully all my motherfather blog readers out there will enjoy it too :)
Well, she probably has MANY superpowers... But the one that most concerns me today is the one that allows her to supernaturally SENSE when her daddy is working a night shift. Obviously, her natural response to the situation is to give me hell. Geoff was back for another night shift last night, and I will say that it was better than last time - but only because she managed one five-hour chunk of sleep vs last week's horrific two x two-hour chunks of sleep.
And of course, the second Dada walked in the door, she's all rainbows and unicorns. OF COURSE.
I'm trying *so* hard to be calm and patient and just roll with it because I know that she's teething and that this is NOT typical. But I SERIOUSLY need more sleep than this. My body is shutting down and we still have two more night shifts to go. And this is apparently supposed to be my 'weekend' - within an hour of Geoff finishing his third and final night shift, I get to go to work (because this is considered TIME OFF). Yippee.
Okay, thanks. I'm done now.
In the meantime, this website is seriously cheering me up :)
1. Geoff, Briony + I celebrated Earth Day yesterday by taking a completely unnecessary roadtrip to the US to shop. I'm mostly over the guilt. And the tiny bit that remains is being drowned in sugar and red food dye. Because the geniuses over at Starburst have FINALLY realized that the red ones are the only good ones, and they're started selling bags of ONLY RED FLAVOURS of Starburst. I was like a kid in... well... a candy store. And my clients should all be warned that everything I produce in the next 72 hours is likely to be extra-sugary.
2. Geoff and I can't stop laughing at this video...
Kerri at Six Until Me - a fabulous blog about living well with diabetes - and her husband welcomed a baby girl into the world yesterday morning. I saw the news on Twitter this morning and I bawled, well, like a baby. Her health challenges are different than mine and so was her road to welcoming her baby girl, but I could so totally relate to the excitement, the fear, the anticipation, the worry, and the thousand emotions attached to being a chronic babe doing the mommy thing... And I can't wait for her to experience all the joy of being a mommy to a beautiful baby girl. SO EXCITING. It just goes to show that a chronic illness will only take away as much of your life as you allow it to.
If all goes according to plan, then this is my Friday this week. WOOHOO! I let all my clients know that I'm taking tomorrow and *real* Friday off, but we'll see how that goes... In any case, I have good intentions - and lofty plans to use my Katie Day tomorrow to go shopping with two of my best friends (both teachers on Spring Break this week).
I still have a couple of hours of work to finish up today if I want to at least try to make tomorrow a no-work day, so I'd best keep plugging away. But in the meantime, I couldn't resist sharing a Friday Smile with you all: The System 351: The Cupcake Sandwich
Oh, okay... Maybe TWO Friday Smiles. Because I am *that* excited about my TWO days off! This one's going to make you feel like Parent of the Year: Not a Single Lady...
Enjoy! And in the spirit of my attempt at a day of smiles and good friends tomorrow, go and do something good for yourself. Promise? Splurge on a coffee on your way into work tomorrow morning. Go for a walk and just take a moment to soak in the feeling of sunshine on your skin. Eat ice cream for dinner. Whatever little thing would make your heart smile - GO AND DO IT. I can't wait to hear all about it :)
My dear friend Nicole shared this on her blog last week and it has really stayed with me... Hoping that it's the encouragement that someone out there needs to hear today too.
"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." ~ Author Unknown (to me)
I'm having one of those days where a Monday Smile has become necessary.
I thought that I missed Briony so much that it would be awesome to have her home again - regardless of the fact that she is hardcore teething and regardless of the fact that I can't really take care of her right now. But hey, Geoff's home! He'll take care of it! And he is. But what I hadn't really factored into the equation is that - as wonderful a daddy as Geoff is (and he is) - there is one thing he just simply and honestly is not: ME. And it's MAKING ME CRAZY. I seriously need to just sedate myself and sew my tongue directly into my teeth. He's doing a great job. And different isn't bad. It's just different. But... AHHH!
Anyway. Here's your smile for this lovely Monday morning (and it is rather lovely): Surviving Church as a Single
So I know that I'm not single anymore. But I was for a while. Long enough that I laughed knowingly at practically every single thing on this list. Why do people say these things?! Because let me tell you, they really, honestly say these things...
Sharing the journey that has taken me from being a single girl in the advertising agency world to a married mommy running my own freelance writing and consulting business (and every random adventure in between).
THINGS I LOVE: Thunderstorms, power ballads, princess camping, exploring new cities, Jon Stewart, greatest hits CDs, clever ads, packing for a trip, George Clooney, impractical footwear, movies about spies, Starbucks, reading an entire book in one sitting, a house full of friends, movies about spies, buying presents, a perfect French manicure, warm modernist architecture, getting flowers for no reason, being faux brunette, Mary Poppins, making lists on Post-It notes, decorating for Christmas, having a brilliant middle-of-the-night 'aha!' idea and then actually remembering it in the morning / THINGS I HATE: People who whine, wearing sweats in public, 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, birds, American tourists in foreign countries, taking down the Christmas tree, poems that rhyme, the misuse of semicolons, being lied to, unpacking after a trip, being closed-minded, naming your kid something common but then spelling it stupidly, cowboys, overly cautious drivers, fake curse words, ridiculously long surnames, strangers who start awkward conversations with you in places you can't readily escape
