Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Countdown is ON

...I'm getting married in less than three days! Holy crap. Not really sure how this happened so quickly. A little bit in shock. But feeling pretty calm, cool, and collected about the whole thing. And excited :)

Today was an absolute whirlwind at work, but then Geoff and I took the evening OFF. Did a couple of little wedding things - mostly just collecting everything we need to remember to bring to the rehearsal tomorrow and making a few lists (that part was rather obviously me...). And then we did nothing. Or more accurately, we warmed up leftovers and watched a movie. It was exactly what I needed.

Tomorrow's my last day at work, then - as Geoff pointed out this evening - the Official Weekend Schedule kicks into action. Rehearsal after work, then rehearsal dinner. Then a family brunch on Saturday morning, and separate guys and girls stuff during the rest of the day (Darcie's coming to do mani/pedis at my place... so happy). And then it's HERE.

In related news, I signed off on a proof of my new business cards today. My new name looked so strange. It weirded out my coworkers too. Especially because Chuck made an additional change - the proof had both a name change and a title change ('Proofreading Assistant to the Art Director'). Fortunately, I'm a very good proofreader :)

If you think of it, please say a quick little prayer for me this weekend. I have not been feeling well - a sinus cold and a possible ear infection - and I'd really like to be healthy and fully enjoy our wedding day. Here's hoping that a little Cold FX does everything the packaging promises...

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Update and The Parents Meet

So this morning's appointment went pretty well. The test results came back normal on everything, which you'd imagine would be a relief. It was in some ways. In other ways, it broke my heart just a little bit - it means that the problem is ME. And it means that there's no quick fix. I must be the first person in history who was actually wishing for negative test results, because it might have meant that there could be an easy answer to make me feel better. And then we tried acupuncture. It really freaked me out - and it didn't feel GOOD - but it wasn't as horrible as I'd been imagining. He recommended three treatments before we make a real decision about whether or not this will help me, so I'm willing to try it until then.

In the evening, I headed out to Niverville with Geoff and Marilyn to have dinner with my parents. I *think* it went pretty well. And it was nice to have a quasi-relaxing evening. Geoff and I booked tomorrow night OFF and it was supposed to be a do-nothing evening. But my to-do list before the wedding is getting crazy and so it might be more like half of a do-nothing evening. Whatever. I'll take it :)

The rehearsal is the day after tomorrow! NO idea how that happened. This has been the fastest four months ever.

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Brave One

I did something today that felt a little bit brave. I had dinner with Geoff's mom, his brother, his sister, his brother-in-law, his three nieces and his nephew. And Geoff was at work.

Marilyn arrived yesterday around lunchtime, and Al and Joanne and the kids arrived early this evening. Marilyn and Kevin made dinner for all of us at Geoff's house, and it was kind of awesome to arrive 'home' after work to the smell of dinner cooking! It was so fun to see everyone, and I think my new family is great. I giggled through most of dinner (at least 50% at Elizabeth's expense... sorry!).

Five days until the wedding!

And tomorrow, I'm doing something that sounds like a small thing, but feels incredibly brave to me. Tomorrow morning is my first acupuncture appointment, and I'll also be meeting with the doctor to find out the results of all the tests we ran two weeks ago. I don't really feel emotionally equipped to deal with this right now. But I also don't feel like being sick anymore. I just can't really handle any more bad news for a while. Heck, I don't even know what I'd do with good news at this point. Geoff is coming with me, which helps me feel a little bit braver.

of course I'm anxious
of course I'm afraid
I don't know what about
I don't know what of
but I'm afraid
and I feel it's
right to be.
(Miriam Waddington)

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Monday, September 24, 2007

Monday Secret

More @


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Weekend Update: Ultra-Fabulous Girls Night Edition

Spent Friday night with my mom and her sisters, celebrating my mom and Val's freakish double birthday (for the uninitiated, my mom's littlest sister was born on her birthday, exactly 10 years later). Basically just ate and sat in the hot tub and relaxed, and it was great. Got back to Winnipeg just in time to jump in the shower, head over to Geoff's place, and get kidnapped.

Which is a nice little transition into my shout-out to my girls, who surprised me with Girls Night on Saturday. I'm quite literally battered and bruised, but I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

Emily, Anja, and Kari-Ann kidnapped me around 6 pm, and we met up with Erin and Mel. We started out at a dance class, which was where most of the battery (and the giggling) took place. I can remember lying on the floor - following a somewhat-less-than-graceful landing - and just laughing and laughing and laughing... After that, we classed it up a bit and had a sleepover at the Hilton. Nothing too crazy, but it was really nice to spend time with my girls. In the morning, a bunch of us headed over to Cora's for brunch, which was a nice ending.

Of course, it's real life, so nothing ever really goes off without a hitch. We all woke up early-ish on Sunday when Em's phone rang with news that her grandma had passed away in her sleep. She left for Pennsylvania this morning to go and say goodbye, and my heart is breaking for her and Mandy. Wishing you safe travels and a really special time with your family... You know she loved you enough that you can never doubt it, and I can just imagine how she announced her arrival in heaven: 'Hello, this is LOIS EBERLY. From PENNSYLVANIA...' :)

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Thursday, September 20, 2007


Erin blogged this today, and it looked way too fun not to try!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Misty Pontiac
Love it. We're off to a good start.

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Vanilla Oatmeal
Okay, that's SO funny... :)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Grey Raccoon
Okay, that's just dumb.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Marie Morris

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Whatever. All things Star Wars annoy me a little.

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Pink Martini
That made me giggle.

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Cornelius Henry
Erin and I both have grandfathers named Cornelius? Amazing.

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Romance Starburst

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Marie Frank
Nice. I might actually use that if I ever require witness protection. Except... Oh, RATS.

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Peters Portland
Had to try to be a *little* different...

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Autumn Orchid
I might change my name.

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Peach Jeansie
I'd have to have light orange hair, and you know it.

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Banana Muffin Maple
It was a delicious muffin.

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Traveling Lightning Tour
Saddest part of my pathetic rockstar tour name? I discovered that I don't really have a hobby. Memo to self: GET A HOBBY. Or get time to have a hobby, and then get a hobby. Because I actually almost put 'working' as my hobby. And that must mean something.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

New Meds Update

So it's been almost a week since I started on the new sleeping pills that my new doctor prescribed. And it's been an interesting little journey, to say the least.

He prescribed the lowest dose possible, but advised me to take a 1/2 pill and see how that worked. Holy cow. After that first night/morning, I tried a few nights of 1/4 pills - the mornings were easier, but I didn't feel they did that much. So I'm back on 1/2 and I'm determined to make this work until the 26th, as recommended.

But I'm feeling... a little off. I'm not sure if it's all the pills or if it's just my life in general right now. Likely, a combination of both. It's a heck of a lot better than other meds my previous doctors have tried me on, but I'm still dealing with a pretty serious morning 'hangover' - not great when you need to wake up and get to a job that is 200% demanding.

I just keep hoping that every day will get a little easier. And that maybe, just maybe, this is going to pay off and work out.

PS - I'm pretty sure I broke my baby toe making dinner tonight (yeah, I know, shut up). I was startled by a noise outside, and I jumped... straight into the cabinets. Ugh. It's still throbbing, and I almost threw up when I had to put shoes on a few hours later. Praying it will heal itself overnight so I don't need to wear ugly shoes to my meeting tomorrow morning :)

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Where in the World is Lindsay's Dad?

There are lots of reasons to love my dad. A few reasons to be absolutely annoyed by him, too - but lots of reasons to love him.

One of my very favourite things about him is also one of things I aspire to grow in my character: the way he gives to the people around him. Sometimes it's small stuff, like inviting a family over for lunch, or organizing a 'guys night' for a friend who's hurting, or calling after a snowstorm to see if I need him to stop by and dig out my car. And sometimes it's big and crazy - like his missions trips. Two years ago, my dad organized a group of men from our church and travelled with MDS to rebuild homes after the forest fires in California. Last year, he spent time in Guatemala City with Compassion, visiting homes of kids who are sponsored by people in Niverville and building a brand-new kitchen for a local church that runs an after-school program that feeds and educates hundreds of local children.

And right now, he is again in Guatemala - this time, almost 8 hours north of Guatemala City, in a tiny remote village that was in desperate need of a couple of classrooms. Their team of 20 people (including Gloria and Crystal) has been dealing with extreme heat and heavy manual labour, but the stories that have been trickling in are incredible. Their work - and the care packages they brought with them from Niverville - is so very appreciated by these people. And as always, I think it will be the volunteers who walk away the most changed and encouraged.

I'm looking forward to all their stories and pictures. In the meantime, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. They aren't in the safest part of Guatemala, and they're working hard to finish the projects they've started this week. And the transition home is always hard, too - fighting against readjusting to our overwhelmingly shallow and materialistic lives.

Says the girl who works in advertising... :)

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The Not-So-Gentle Art of Acceptance

This article ended up in my Inbox today, and it helped me so much. No matter what your own struggle might be, I hope it encourages you too and gets you thinking.


The not-so-gentle art of acceptance
by Jenni Prokopy

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. For most of my life, I hated that $&^%ing prayer.

That prayer haunted me. I had to say it at the Al-Anon meetings I attended as a child. I had to hear it spoken by many people during moments that seemed, to me, so OBVIOUSLY in their control that it sounded like a cop-out. I would smirk meanly when I saw it posted in other people's homes, thinking, "You poor sap. A fat lot of good that'll do you." It really seemed like a load.

Here I sit today, reciting that prayer. Your humble Editrix -- a woman who doesn't even know if God exists -- says a prayer. Sugar, I'm here to tell you, that thing actually kinda works.


Resistance movement

Through all the work I've done to ease the symptoms of fibromyalgia -- the physical therapy, the cognitive therapy, all the different meds, dieting and exercise, meditation, biofeedback, journaling, visualization, you name it -- the hardest thing I've tried is to accept the fibromyalgia. I don't mean resigning myself to the fact that it's chronic, that it's not going anywhere. I mean, accepting it as part of me. An inherent part of what I am. A component. Not a flaw, not a broken-ness. Acceptance is something I've resisted for a looong time.

Today I was talking with my coach, Suzan, about how I had balanced my weekend. I had a hugely significant event all day Saturday, and while I had originally planned to lay low on both the Friday before and the Sunday after, on Sunday I wound up going to brunch and a movie, and hosting a BBQ for close friends and their two small kiddos. All fun stuff, all with great people. But in doing that stuff instead of resting, I broke my commitment to myself to rest on Sunday -- and as a result, Monday rolled around with me too exhausted to work. I camped out all day on the couch instead.

The result was so frustrating, because it seemed to highlight the confusion I still feel about when to push myself and when to hold back. Sometimes I feel a certain kind of cruddy, and the best thing for me is some time with girlfriends, a nice meal out, or playing with a friend's child. (Nothing like pure innocence and joy to get you out of your own head!) Other times, I feel a different kind of cruddy and I know that I just need to veg out, sleep in, cut out of work. And sometimes, I just don't know what's going to do the trick. It's confusing!

Suzan had a different take. What if, she said, you consider the idea that the fibromyalgia -- that inherent part of you -- is a message, a signal, telling you that you are in need of devoted self-care? The idea, she explained, is that instead of seeing your body's signals as some kind of misfire or malfunction, you instead choose to interpret those signals/symptoms as your body's way of telling you to stop and re-examine how you're living.

No. Frickin. Way.

Unh-uh. That is a crappy signal. That is not the kind of message I will accept. Return to sender.

The idea just seems so shocking; the concept that my body, with fibromyalgia, is in a state of wholeness? That's crazy talk. The idea that my body is full of wisdom? That those symptoms -- those signals -- are the easiest way my body has of maneuvering me into a place of total self-care? Whoa. (I'm crying as I write this. This is not an easy concept for me to wrap my brain around.)

I have always resisted the idea of acceptance, because I always felt my body was flawed. That I was broken in some way. Who wants to accept that? And I have spent many, many years searching for my "fix." Because it is just so damn unfair, so wrong, there has to be a solution. And I am surrounded by people (and their books and stuff) who believe they have the answer and are willing, for a price of course, to reveal to me their secrets. So it's very tempting to search and search for the answer. Because it feels like if you stop searching, you're giving up. It could be right around the corner! I'm no quitter!

The results of resistance

So anyway, after my appointment with Suzan, I had to force myself to go back to work -- and I had to let the ideas stew for a few hours. In the evening, I came back to them, and sat down to write.

What have I gained from resisting the reality of my condition, the fact that it is an inherent part of me? It certainly has kept my fighting spirit strong, has motivated me to try lots of things, to reach out to people for answers. And I've learned a lot of great tricks and tools, and met lots of great people along the way.

But that resistance has also hurt me in many ways. It has weighed heavily on my spirit; I've spent a ton of time with the idea that it's just not fair. It has caused me to push through times of great pain and exhaustion, working beyond my capacity, because I refused to accept limitations. Like, "I'll show my body who's boss!" But that never works.

I think, because of experiences as a younger person, I equated acceptance with surrender. I always thought that acceptance meant I was giving up, that I was accepting less of a life, accepting a lesser version of me. But all those times I resisted, I was lessening myself by not caring for my needs, by running myself ragged in order to prove -- to whom? -- that I could "beat" this illness.

What if?

What if Suzan is right? What if, way back in 1997, my body just got worn out? Worn out from all the craziness of my family, my friends, work and school stresses, a broken romantic relationship. The smoking and the drinking. The staying up all night because there was so much to do -- so many things to write, so much music to hear, so many people to meet. My childhood was very hard in many ways. I had health problems all my life: spinal meningitis, mononucleosis, chest pains, allergies, lower back spasms, gastrointestinal issues, migraines. What if there came a moment when my body finally said, "Hey! I've been sending you a steady series of signals for years and you've ignored me, so here's your last chance! Here's a big glaring signal you can't ignore! Start taking better care of yourself!"

I'm not saying I deserved to get sick, or that I did something to make it happen, or that it's anyone's fault. (And certainly, dear fellow fibromyalgia readers, I'm not trying to say it's the same for you, either.) But what if...what if it's true? What would that mean?

It would mean accepting that I am whole, as I am, as I sit here today in front of the computer.

It would mean accepting that my body is not broken; that no matter what it is doing, it is wise at its core. And that I have to listen to it.

It would mean accepting that my gut does not lie, and that if my gut instinct is to take Friday and Sunday off, I better do it or pay the price, no matter how much my brain thinks "I should be able to do more this weekend." Etc.

It would mean accepting that I already know all I need to know to take care of myself: Trust my gut. Rely on experts who I trust. Encircle myself with intelligent, supportive people...people who call me on my BS.

It would mean trusting myself. Somehow that seems scariest, the idea that I can trust myself wholly and completely to take care of myself. Isn't there supposed to be somebody out there who knows better? Who left me in charge? Maybe this is where people who believe in a higher power are able to let go and let God, as they say in the 12-step groups.

So here I am, saying that darn prayer.

I am thinking about acceptance, and about what it means. And I am thinking that if you've read this far, you have either been down this road, or are headed down it. Or that you're thinking, who is this wacky chick and what the heck is she talking about? There must be some great punchline...

I don't know if I can truly accept it all just yet. It's been a long, powerful, thoughtful day. So I'm going to rest, because that's what my gut tells me to do. And when I feel like it, I'll write some more. I don't know if it's helpful for any of you to read this, but it helps me to write about it -- and maybe there's someone out there who's thinking about the same stuff and will at least know that she's not alone with her thoughts.

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Monday, September 17, 2007

Monday Secret

This one made me smile - but you can pick your own favourite at


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Engagement Pics

Those of you who are on Facebook can view some of our favourite shots there. Those of you who aren't can click here!

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

Fully Engaged

So, the shower was yesterday. Today was (1) engagement pictures with Jessica, (2) marriage license, (3) wedding favour finalization, and (4) meeting with Kristen to do a walk-around and plan locations and shot lists for wedding day photography. Oh, plus normal Saturday errands. Lindsay is exhausted. But happy that I got so much crossed off my list.

Geoff could sense my growing exhaustion and anticipated the perfect solution: a half-hour in Chapters. And while they didn't have the book I *really* wanted (The World Without Us by Alan Weisman - SOLD OUT), I found a few others I'd been eyeing for a while (Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World by Bill Clinton, A Brief History of Globalization by Alex McGillivray, and a book of absolutely gorgeous photography and historical information about Greece). I figure it's cheaper than a session with a therapist, and it lasts longer :)

Anyway. More pics to come very, very soon - but here's a sneak peek. (One of the pics that my hair isn't going crazy in... Today was WAY too windy for engagement pictures!)

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Friday, September 14, 2007

Tale of a Non-Shower

I love my friends. I love them for lots of reasons. But this weekend, I love them most of all for throwing me a non-shower bridal shower. There were no streamers. There were no balloons. There were no awkward 'make a dress out of toilet paper' games. Instead, there was a group of lovely ladies who met for dinner, spent a lot of time talking and laughing, and just happened to open some gifts afterward. I loved it.

Thanks to Emily, Anja, and Jessica - you girls are awesome :)

Caitlin (roommate -slash- brother's girlfriend -slash- person I like a lot)

Emily (apparently trying to out-daughter me) with Mom

Opening a particularly pink present...

Nice, Sara... :)

Cait (sorry), Val (her typical picture pose), Jessica (a lovely surprise)

Erin and Jessica, superfoxes extraordinaire

Jessica and Anja (mostly enjoying her very first Canadian bridal shower experience)

Me and Em (not the most flattering pic we've ever taken... but whatever)

My personal favorite shower pic: Kari-Ann with Loraine. The pastor's wife :)

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To Work or Not To Work

In honour of Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, I stole this piece of an article from

Pain can ruin your judgment and your mood. It can also take over your being. One question I frequently hear is: “should I stop working because the pain is so bad?” My answer is: NO!

When you’re living with pain, it’s easy to think that working makes it harder to handle the pain or even makes the condition worse. But here are two reasons that isn’t necessarily the case:
1. Becoming engaged in something outside of your body distracts you from the pain and can make it more bearable.
2. Creating a feeling of involvement and success reminds you that you are more than this sick body in pain.

I’m not saying that this is easy to do. It takes extraordinary effort. But not working seems to have too much of an adverse affect. There’s no reason to get up and out each day, you lose the interpersonal engagement of the workplace, you lose your sense of value, and it’s usually a financial hardship.

I don’t mean to imply it’s easy to keep working when you live in chronic pain. It’s just that from what I’ve seen in my own life and those I work with, not working does not make your life easier.

The challenge worth taking is to figure out what work you can do and how you can do it.


PS - The new sleeping pill knocked me right out with a 1/2 dose. I am such a lightweight! I woke up 9 hours later with an incredibly sore, tingly arm (I had apparently fallen asleep on top of it and hadn't moved a molecule all night). I was very groggy for about 15 minutes, and then totally fine. Maybe a tiny little bit disoriented today, but I feel like I slept properly for the first time in a long time. A good mid-term solution? Time will tell. I promised myself I'd give it an honest effort until the 26th before I judge.

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Thursday, September 13, 2007


I don't know what scared me more about this morning's appointment: the idea that this new doctor wouldn't be able to help me, or the idea that he would (meaning that I've lived my last three years in constant pain that was totally unnecessary).

I met with Dr. Chernish this morning at 7.45. I went through the usual medical history sheets and coloured in all the parts of my body that hurt me. I changed into my shorts and t-shirt. And I waited in the little examination room, feeling... small, apprehensive, cold, afraid, unsure, and incredibly tired.

I met with the doctor for about half an hour. He asked incredibly good questions, and gave me a little glimmer of hope because he's the first doctor I've encountered so far who is approaching this from a holistic point of view. He didn't waste energy debating whether or not my pain was real. He simply accepted that I hurt as much as I say I hurt, and started working full-force to find the source and the cause - instead of just suggesting little ideas to mask my symptoms with drugs.

He got me started on a very low-dosage sleeping pill ('because if you're waking up tired every day, you're going to feel lousy no matter what else we do'). He sent me for a full spinal x-ray. He sent me for a massive blood test, checking for every possible cause or complicating factor under the sun - including a few things that I'd suggested to my GP a hundred times, that he said I was 'too young to worry about.' And he scheduled a follow-up appointment with me for the 26th, where we'll review all the test results and try acupuncture on my neck and back to see if it makes a difference.

At the end of the appointment, he looked at me and asked if all my questions had been answered or if there was anything else I wanted to talk about. What?! I have NEVER had a doctor take the time to ask me that before.

And so, no real solutions per se. And no big miraculous difference in my life today. But a little bit of hope. I now have a medical partner who believes that I should be able to live my life without pain. That sounds so simple, but it's incredibly hard to find. And it feels really good to be DOING something.

The irony is that even with all this newfound hope, I hurt more today than I have in a while. It's actually really hard to concentrate on anything. All I can think about is going home and sleeping for a really long time.


An oldie but a goodie, and something that's been running through my head lately:

After A While
(Veronica A. Shofstall)

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth.

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Displacing the Worry

Can't sleep. Worrying about tomorrow.

Thanks to the people who sent encouraging emails and notes over the last couple of days, to Geoff who patiently listened to all my worries over dinner a few hours ago - and to Mel, Nikki, and the rest of the gang. I had so much fun singing with you tonight.


Philippians 4.6-7: Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Time with Friends

I've been blessed to spend so much time with friends lately... I got to hang out with Aaron and Cait on Friday night (granted, we were hauling millions of boxes out of my bedroom and office and into the basement until 4 am... but STILL). I spent time with Emily and Anja at their dress fitting on Saturday morning, and grabbed lunch with Anja after. I had breakfast with Kathy on Sunday, lunch with Jessica, and coffee with Cat and Isabelle in the evening. And Kari-Ann met me at Starbucks last night after work. Busy, for sure - but the good kind of busy. It's the kind of busy that refreshes you in the midst of chaos and reminds you that you're never doing anything all on your own.

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths, feels your fears but fortifies your faith, sees your anxieties but frees your spirit, recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."
-William Arthur Ward

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

News from the Home Front

Things at the house are really starting to come together...

The boxes I moved in last week have created some temporary chaos, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Last night, Geoff and I (who are we kidding - almost entirely Geoff) set up the desk in the office / library and moved some of the existing furniture and stuff I've moved in around. And today after work, Geoff had a surprise waiting for me: the rest of the room was totally set up. It looks amazing. Just a couple of pictures to hang up, but it's already cozy. I settled into my reading chair in the corner and just sat there and smiled. My new favourite room in the house, no question.

The house is SO close to done... It will be awesome to be able to look around and feel like we've settled in. And poor Geoff will SO be happy to be free of my emailed to-do lists :)

I know a bunch of you have been asking, so I promise we'll post some pictures soon!

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Monday, September 10, 2007

Monday Secret

More anonymous confessions at


First Day

Anica and Sophie, my cousins - slash - nieces - slash - munchkins, started Grade Two and Kindergarten(!) this past week. Val sent pics from their first day, and they were just too adorable not to share one. I am absolutely crazy about these girls and can't believe how quickly they're growing up... I got all choked up when I saw Soph wearing her giant new pink backpack outside the school - I am going to be SUCH a sucker when it's my own kids we're talking about.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

Six More Sleeps

My mood today? Scared. I have six sleeps to go until my long-awaited appointment with the fibromyalgia specialist on Thursday morning. And that leaves me with a weird feeling in my stomach, a combination of pure hope and pure terror.

This appointment is scheduled smack dab in the middle of Arthritis Month AND Invisible Chronic Illness Week, so that has to be a good sign. Right?

Well, here are the reasons why this upcoming appointment makes me feel scared (in no particular order):
(1) I am scared of the unknown. I have absolutely no idea what to expect from this doctor, or from this appointment.
(2) I am scared of needles, and of feeling MORE pain. I know that he specializes in acupuncture, and just the word makes me cringe.
(3) I am scared of being un-beautiful. I know how easily I bruise, and if we decide to go the acupuncture route, I am scared of being covered in bruises and feeling anything less than superfoxy in my damaged skin.
(4) I am scared of disappointment - that he won't be able to help me. This doctor is my last resort in Winnipeg. If he can't help, I'll be forced to check into options in other cities, and who-knows-what cost.

I want to be realistic, and to set myself up for disappointment so that I won't have to cry on Thursday night. But I promised myself years ago that I would never, ever give up hope. And so, here I am. Setting myself up one more time. Hoping that maybe - just maybe - this might finally be the thing that helps me.

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O.K. (Sigh), I'll Join Facebook

Amusing article about the professional angst that has accompanied the whole social networking phenomenon: O.K. (Sigh), I'll Join Facebook.

Ah, I still remember the first time I got a MySpace friend request from a client. Funny, because I never actually used MySpace. I had to set up an account for another client I was working with, a client who was developing their own social networking site and constantly called me with comments about how we should make something work 'like it does on MySpace.' Incredibly awkward when this other client asked in a meeting why I hadn't accepted her as a MySpace friend... I'm not entirely sure she believed my answer about not using the site.

And now, we have Facebook. And I sometimes wonder about the clients, coworkers, suppliers, and other work acquaintances who have been steadily sneaking into my friends list there... But then I remember that I work at Cocoon, and that it's okay :)


Thursday, September 06, 2007

Politics and Popcorn

Upcoming dates for the CCPA Film Series...

Wednesday September 19 - THE BELOVED COMMUNITY
In the summer of 2004, health researchers made a startling discovery in the Aamjiwnaang (Chippewa) birth records for the city of Sarnia, Ontario. For the past decade, girl babies had been outnumbering boys at a rate of 2:1. Further investigation revealed large numbers of miscarriages, a cluster of reproductive cancers in young women, and widespread neurological problems among the band's children. This is the story behind the statistics.

Wednesday October 17 - IRAQ FOR SALE
This is the story of what happens to everyday Americans when corporations go to war. Acclaimed director Robert Greenwald takes you inside the lives of soldiers, truck drivers, widows and children who have been changed forever as a result of profiteering in the reconstruction of Iraq. IRAQ FOR SALE uncovers the connections between private corporations making a killing in Iraq and the decision makers who allow them to do so.

Wednesday November 21 - GRANITO DE ARENA (A GRAIN OF SAND)
For over 20 years, global economic forces have been dismantling public education in Mexico, but always in the constant shadow of popular resistance. GRANITO DE ARENA is the story of that resistance –- the story of hundreds of thousands of public schoolteachers whose grassroots, non-violent movement took Mexico by surprise, and who have endured brutal repression in their 25-year struggle for social and economic justice in Mexico's public schools.

7:00 pm, Park Theatre, 698 Osborne Street

Tickets: $8.00 for each film or $20.00 for all three

Organized by the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives –- Manitoba

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Murder and Irony

So this would SUCK: Polish Author Convicted of Murder.

An unsolved murder. Five years later, a novel chock full of identical details of an identical murder. Oh, and the author just so happens to have suspected the dead guy of having an affair with his estranged wife.

Um, what did you think would happen?

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Wednesday, September 05, 2007


Ooh, I HATE the feeling of being out of control. And that feeling has kicked in hardcore this week.

Wedding planning is one thing. Wedding planning and moving at the same time is another. And wedding planning and moving and having a high-stress job in the middle of the advertising world's busy season is *quite* another. I had a few moments last night when I wished for a job I could give half my attention to, and not bring home with me. Just a few moments. And then I remembered that I'd be bored with a job like that in about seven seconds flat, and that I have the best job in the world. On a similar note, I had more than a few moments last night when I was cursing my book collection, as I packed all the boxes full one more time. How many times have I moved those books?! Actually... I think this is eight. Which explains my weariness. But at least the piano's gone!

It helps so much to know that, at the end of all of this, I get to marry Geoff in 25 days. Oh, and I went for my first dress fitting on Saturday and it's absolutely perfect. Two words for you: super and fox.

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