Thursday, September 30, 2010

Year Three

Geoff + I are celebrating three years of wedded bliss today.

I'm going to pause there so you can gag on your coffee.

I'm pretty sure that this is the blog post where I'm supposed to get all mushy and annoy you with some random quotes or cheesy photos or annoying anecdotes that will make you see how perfect my marriage is.

NEWS FLASH: It's not.

Supplementary News Flash: I didn't expect it to be.

It's not perfect, but I'm not a girl who dreamed of perfection. Our life together is everything I've wanted since I was a little girl - a life full of magic in ordinary moments. I married a man who I genuinely like to spend time with, who makes our little family his priority always, and who still buys me flowers just because. He thinks I'm pretty without any makeup on, he thinks I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong... Oh wait. That's not real life. That's a Katy Perry song. CHEEKY BLOGGER.

Truth? I sometimes want to sit down and cry when I think of how we very nearly skipped the honeymoon phase I imagine other couples get to enjoy, and instead dove headfirst into baby and cancer and chronic illness. But we're making it. And we still like each other. Against all odds, Year Three was another wonderful year. Those family photos we took last week are photographic evidence that we're happy (and we'll spend a week together in NYC this December to make sure that it's all true).

Our life together has been an adventure, and there's no one else I'd rather be adventuring with.

‎"It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis." (Margaret Bonnano)

Geoff, I love you. You are my best friend.
Today, I gladly choose to become your wife.
I promise to encourage and support you, to laugh with you,
and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
I will stand beside you in good times and in bad,
on days when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I will respect your talents and your passions,
and support you as you pursue all of your goals and dreams.
I promise to cherish you, respect you, and be faithful to you always.

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

One Moment With Briony

Just overheard Chez Wright...

Geoff + Briony are checking out the freshly-signed birthday card he'll be delivering to his brother Kevin later tonight. It's one of those 'Top 10 Reasons I'm Glad You're My Brother' type cards, and he was asking her to point out different numbers and pictures before focusing in on the signatures we've added inside.

Geoff: Where's Briony?

Briony looks confused.

Geoff (pointing to where we've signed her name): Right here.

Briony looks positively wounded.

Briony: No, Dada. Briony is here (points at her chest). INSIDE HERE.

Oh my GOSH, this kid cracks me up.

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Penguins and TWO

Just picked this up for Briony on my lunch break today...

The cuteness factor is almost overwhelming, isn't it? There were a few girlier options, but the kid *loves* penguins and we just couldn't resist.

SO EXCITED to start moving beyond the world of diaper bags (even though I guess I never *technically* had a diaper bag for her)... These tiny little milestones are so exciting, but they carry a healthy portion of sadness with them too.

My baby is turning two, people. TWO YEARS OLD. I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

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Monday, September 27, 2010

Good Night

Today felt long and kind of icky. I woke up feeling sick and it just kind of hung over me all day... I know that I did too much on the weekend, but I think I did the best I could at balancing my health and my sanity and my family while Geoff worked all weekend. The happy news about my tough day is that I'm now officially less than a week away from finally meeting with my new specialist.

Do I have all my eggs in this one basket? Yep.

Is that a risky thing to do? You betcha.

Has it helped me make it through this super long summer? Definitely.

Should I take this whole scary imaginary-question-and-answer-period as a sign that bedtime was probably an hour ago?


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Family Photos

Last Sunday, we met up with my sister Jessica and her family at a playground near our house for some quick family photos. There were many to choose from, but I'll share a few here. The result is coming soon to a holiday card near you...

The funniest part of the afternoon was when we showed up at the playground and saw that her Chloe and our Briony were SERIOUSLY matching. Of course, we had to take a few photos as evidence.

And of course, here's our classic Briony... So happy, her body can hardly contain her :)

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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Choosing Today

So today should have been a terrible day.

Well, it's true. Yesterday was one of those days that was nonstop starting at 7 am and ending... I don't even know when. Late. I don't think I sat down once until well after 8 pm - and my day included a bunch of errands and a 90 minute walking tour during a client meeting.

So BIG FREAKING SURPRISE, I woke up in a ridiculous amount of pain this morning. Geoff was long gone to work already and I lay in bed, assessing the situation and listening to Briony waking up, when I realized that I had a choice to make. And I made it. I got Briony out of her crib, went downstairs, and made an awesome pancake breakfast for us which we ate giggling in our pyjamas.

We were still in pyjamas (and had coloured about a hundred pictures) when Emily arrived two hours later, but we quickly made ourselves a little more presentable and the three of us set off for the playground via Starbucks. Briony had some lunch at home and then went down for a nap while Paul played Sushi Delivery Boy and joined Emily + I for lunch.

After they left, I managed to have a shower and get dinner into the slow cooker before Briony's nap ended. And then after dinner, we were colouring again when Christine, Amber, and Dolly showed up for girls night here. While we all caught up on each other's lives - and in between Briony treating us to various renditions of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' - they even managed to help me get the kitchen cleaned up and a cake baked to take to the lake tomorrow.

I'm still tired. I'm still in lots and lots of pain. But I am so very glad that I made the choice that I did this morning. Today could have turned out very differently. I would have ended up tired and in pain anyway, but I would have missed all the good.

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Friday, September 24, 2010

One Moment With Briony

After dinner tonight, I was sitting on the couch and Briony was playing in the living room. I looked at her and it was just one of those moments that kind of takes your breath away, where you look at your child and think 'oh WOW, she's awesome' and I couldn't help myself... I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. She looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said, 'Mama, I am VERY CUTE.'


This will be the root of all our problems :)

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Friday Smile

Sorry... I'm too busy this morning to resize my 'smile' so my blog is going to be ugly for a couple of hours. Seriously, SORRY. And it's okay if this comic is only moderately funny to some of you... So much of my media and public relations work is all about social media, so this one made me laugh until coffee came out of my nose. I'm totally cool like that.


Thursday, September 23, 2010


MOMs Group was fun (and super practical) this morning... After spending a few minutes catching up with some other moms, having uninterrupted conversations over cups of coffee that were still hot while we were drinking them (ANGELS ARE SINGING), we learned about bento lunch boxes and other ideas for getting sometimes-picky toddlers and preschoolers to eat new and healthy foods. After that, we headed for the kitchen and made lunches to bring home with us.

I ended up with one that looked very cool when I made it, but looked like crap by the time I got it home. It involved a two smiley egg men (a hard boiled egg sliced in half) holding mini waffle balloons on thin carrot strings, standing on cucumber grass. Oh, and the waffle balloons had grape-slice polka dots. CUTE. And surprisingly easy.

For my other lunch, I just put together some cucumber and cherry tomato flowers, some bread and cheese and half-meatball sandwich flowers, and some grape halves on skewers. Briony had this one for lunch and she loved it... Who knew that eating the same old stuff in a fun new way would make it that much more exciting for a toddler.

Actually, when I stopped to think about it, I can remember how excited I was when we'd have pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse (or our initials) when I was little. Who am I kidding... My dad totally did that again when I was visiting earlier this year and it STILL made me smile :)

I'm totally inspired to experiment with some of the ideas that Corinna introduced - likely not anything big and crazy, but if even cutting cucumber slices into flowers with a cookie cutter makes it 'special' then I'll totally start adding some fun little touches to Briony's lunch every once in a while. It took *seconds* longer than doing it the regular way. I just added some fun-coloured silicone baking cups and mini cookie cutter sets to my list.

Here are some links to our bento lunch box inspirations:
20 Easy Bento Lunch Boxes
Bento Lunch Ideas

And here's Briony enjoying her lunch today!

I'd call that a look of success. ALL HAIL THE MOTHER OF THE YEAR. Better cheer now, in case this never happens again ;)

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No Nap Day

Yesterday was a No Nap Day - or VERY close to it. Not my favourite kind of day, if I got to pick (which I obviously don't). I eventually caved and let her watch TV on the couch for a while so I could get a little bit of client work done. But it's so hard to be made when this is the non-napping scene on your couch...

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Bon Voyage

Two very special friends of ours - Jason + Amy - set off on a trip of a lifetime today, cruising the South Pacific for two months. I know, I know... Take a moment to honour those feelings of jealousy, and then pack them away, because these two deserve this adventure. To me, they are the total personification of that saying that you need to take big risks for big, wonderful things to happen in your life (or something like that). In this case, it was Jason taking two months off from an entrepreneurial business venture and Amy quitting her job. Yikes. Awesome, but yikes :)

Once upon a time, I took a small risk and flew to Vancouver to meet a boy named Jason who I had been talking to online. A few short years later, I was back - with Geoff and a brand new shiny engagement ring on my finger - to watch that boy marry a girl named Amy. That one small risk brought a wonderful friendship into our lives and I could not be happier. To be honest, I think the whole experience - and my initial friendship with J - helped usher in a new era of Lindsay, an era where I became increasingly comfortable with taking risks and making good things happen. Jason is one of my friends (I've collected a few through the years) who inspires me to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT and pursue my full potential without making excuses or chickening out. I'm still learning. And Amy? Amy + I have spent a seriously insignificant number of total hours together, but she's one of those friends who just immediately felt like family to me.

Jason + Amy will be documenting their adventures on this blog with a focus on accessible travel (Jason's a quadriplegic) and how being in a wheelchair doesn't need need to - and shouldn't - stop you from living your dreams and exploring the world. It gives me goosebumps to think about the people these two will be able to help. Feel free to follow their incredible journey.

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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Triumphant Return

Briony's little table + chairs made their triumphant return on Saturday night. Lenore did a fabulous job with them - you can jump over to her blog to read all about the transformation - and, as you can see, Briony approves. (Giraffe does too.)

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Seeing Double

The other day, I was sitting on the stairs. Briony ran over to sit beside me. And Geoff immediately lunged for the camera. I wasn't sure why until I saw the photo... :)

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Friday, September 17, 2010

Friday Smile

Way back when I was pregnant with Briony, I joined an online message board for expectant mothers who were due the same month that I was. Over the past two and a half years, these women have become a very special and incredibly unique part of my life as we've supported each other through so many milestones.

This week, we reached a big milestone together. Even though we've never met in real life, we all felt our collective hearts break back in November 2008 when one of the moms lost her baby boy in childbirth due to a mistake the delivering doctor made. Amid an excruciating lawsuit, she picked herself back up and they began fertility treatments all over again - and we celebrated with her when she announced she was pregnant again at the beginning of this year. In July, she delivered a beautiful baby girl... three months early. And then this past week - a full month before her original due date and almost two years since they lost their son - she brought a baby home for the very first time.

I don't really know her, but I know her heart. This is the biggest Friday Smile I've had in a long time, and one that comes with accompanying happy tears.

Geoff + I are SO BLESSED to have a healthy daughter. To have welcomed her into our family without having any trouble getting pregnant (ahem... OBVIOUSLY) or complications during pregnancy is absolutely incredible. It is only the competence and skill of our delivering doctor that ensured our delivery story had a happy ending. These are things that I quite literally thank God for every single day.

I've been thinking so much this week about how our God cares about the tiniest things, and I smile when I think of baby Anna - many times bigger than when she was born but still ITTY BITTY and under five pounds - being rocked to sleep in a nursery in Ontario that sat empty for far too long.

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Strength + Courage

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength. Loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu)

I'm kind of a mess today. It's hard to manage client deadlines when you know that your best friend is on her way to go say a final goodbye to her dad. My heart hurts. If you're visiting my blog today, please say a quick prayer for Emily and her family so they're covered in the strength and courage they need to get through this very, very tough day.

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Friday, September 10, 2010


I ran out of spoons tonight.

I don't even remember the last time I miscalculated this significantly. But it happened. And the result was spectacular... If you consider a train wreck to be spectacular. I reacted to a completely insignificant situation with all the grace of a drunken elephant (and then retreated to my bed and promptly fell asleep, which probably says everything right there).

Running out of spoons is always hard, but it's the hardest when you weren't wasting them. Sometimes life takes a little more than what you have to give. For a healthy person, it's not that big of a deal. For a person living with chronic illness, it's a capital-letters TRAIN WRECK. And maybe that's the difference. I can fake healthy all I want to, and I can do it so well that the people around me sometimes forget what I'm dealing with, but when one of these days comes along - and it inevitably will - there is just no hiding it. It's ugly. But it's the reality of what I live with.

So now I feel sick, utterly devoid of spoons, and embarrassed as heck. I'm working very hard to extend some grace to myself, hoping that others will do the same, and going to bed early. And the sun will rise on a new day tomorrow.

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Friday Smile

We took Briony to her first-ever dance class this morning. OH MY GOSH. I very nearly fainted from all the cuteness.

As nervous as we were about putting her in a class with other babies in her birth year - where she is the very youngest girl there - she *loved* it and did a great job! She even made some little friends - she held hands with a little girl she met named Brooke LONG after the holding-hands song was over.


Can't believe how big our baby is getting... It just makes me cherish every little memory that much more.

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Thursday, September 09, 2010


I'm in a little bit of a funk today. I woke up feeling about a hundred pounds heavier than usual - heavy with sadness. Interestingly, I feel like all my tears dried up overnight. I know they'll be back, but for now, I'm just SAD.

To distract me, we have Katie here to play with Briony while Geoff + I work on cleaning up our basement. It's something we've been needing to do for a long time - it's been used purely for storage since we moved in, but it should really be functioning as a guest room. And I think it's the perfect project to keep me busy but not thinking too much about anything.

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Just Need To Get This Out Of My System

When you squeeze back into your pre-pregnancy jeans or your wedding dress, I DON'T F-ING WANT TO KNOW. In fact, nobody does. That is all.

We will resume our regular scheduled positive programming shortly.

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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Something For Me

In the midst of all this hurting, there's also something I'm looking forward to. On Friday, I'm beginning a five week course on creativity and positivity with Kal Barteski (who is apparently friends with all my friends, but I've never met her).

I hesitated to sign up until I reviewed my 30 x 30 list and realized that this is a great way to kickstart my journey to find creative outlets that are not related to my work - one of my resolutions for this year (Resolution #9, to be exact). And so here I go... As selfish as it feels to do something that is so entirely all about ME, I'm very excited.


A Very Hard Day

What a very, very hard day.

Emily + Paul came over this morning. There aren't any words to describe how much it hurts to see a friend in so much pain - especially one who's more sister than friend to me. My heart is broken into a thousand pieces for Emily and her entire family over the very sudden and unexpected passing of her dad last night. It was so good for me to see her, to be able to deliver a hug and make some tea and do SOMETHING.

I want to fix it. I want to make it better. I want to help... But there are no words and nothing I can do. My heart hurts so much, there is physical pain - and I ache to imagine the depths of what my sister is feeling.

So far, I have a chicken roasting in the oven (with mashed potatoes + stuffing + the works) and big plans for homemade soup and freshly baked cookies. Comfort food that brings no comfort whatsoever. But it still feels strangely therapeutic to me today.

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Tuesday, September 07, 2010


When you love other people and get involved in their lives, you feel things - lots of things, good and bad. You cry with them when they are sad, and you celebrate with them when they are happy. That's the risk you take when you choose to love. I love, therefore I feel.
- Lindsay Wright (November 2008)

I'm feeling the full depth and pain of these words tonight as I grieve a piece of terrible news alongside a friend who is as close as a sister to me. I don't regret a single ounce of the love it took to get to this place. But I am hurting so deeply tonight as I send up prayers with every breath. There are so many things in this world that I will never, ever understand.


One Moment With Briony

Another cool little milestone today... I'm in the office, and Geoff called to let me know that Briony was up from her nap and that they were leaving soon to pick me up. Except that Geoff didn't tell me all of that - Briony helped too. I answered my phone and said hello and was treated to a chattering nonstop commentary THAT I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD. Briony told me she was finished her nap and also told me all about the book she was looking at about bears. Crazy stuff from my one year old. Gosh, I love her :)

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Feeling Like Fall

It's that time of year again, when my mind moves to thoughts of filling my freezer with casseroles and make-ahead meals. I'm starting to plan a cooking day... I'd love to hear about your favourite make-ahead meals for the freezer. Ready... Set... COMMENT!

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Weekend Update: Fabulous + Glorious Edition

I had low expectations for this weekend.

There. I said it. But here's the thing... I've been feeling the full effect of living with chronic illness. Geoff was scheduled to work nights all weekend (oh, the joys of loving - and living with - a trauma nurse). And, of course, we have a toddler. She's lovely, but SHE'S ONE. And therefore, a lot of work a lot of the time. Not exactly the ingredient for a super fabulous long weekend.

On Friday afternoon, I snuck out to cheat on my hairdresser. Oh yes, I did. And it was FABULOUS. I'm in love with my hair right now and I will be back. Scandalous! The only downside was that I had foxy hair and nowhere to go... But I think the mini-makeover (especially when coupled with my new glasses) set the stage for a much better weekend than I had originally anticipated.

Later that night, I invited a friend over for tea after all our kids were in bed. She came just after 8 and it was so much fun to have company on a night in Geoff's rotation that's sometimes pretty lonely. We had some great conversations and I crawled into bed feeling happy and relaxed.

The next day, Briony + I hit up Starbucks and the playground before heading home for lunch and a nap (for Briony, not for me... funny how that works). Anja came over in the afternoon and had a perfect afternoon of catching up and hanging out. After Briony's nap, we packed up the baby and the puppy and made another visit to the playground. Briony *loves* Anja's dog and was fascinated by the whole 'walking the dog' thing. When we got home, she wanted to try and proceeded to walk Luna around the living room - cutest thing ever ('come, woof' 'good!' 'over here' 'nice dog').

Just before 6 pm on Saturday, Briony asked to go to bed. Apparently, the two trips to the playground did her in... She was sleeping before Geoff left for his night shift and stayed sleeping all night. BIZARRE. I ended up watching a movie, talking to my brother, starting and finishing the laundry, eating a cupcake, cleaning up our bedroom, having a bubble bath, and finishing a fun book. Oh my gosh, what a fabulous night... It is my greatest wish for ONE of those nights every month. I felt positively HUMAN! It was glorious.

On Sunday, Briony + I headed out to Falcon Lake to spend some time with my parents and a couple of friends who joined us for the day. We stayed overnight and came back to the city after lunch on Monday - returning home just in time to leave Briony with Katie and head out to Assiniboine Park for a quick dinner and a movie with Geoff (we saw 'The Switch' and it was better than I'd expected... one of my favourite movies this year, actually).

So it was a good weekend. A really good weekend. And I'm realizing - in retrospect - that it was good because I chose to MAKE it good. It would have been perfectly valid to sit at home and be grumpy that my husband was working through an entire long weekend. But that's not the life I want to live, and we ended up finding some great little pockets of family time and snuck in some great memories with some great people all over the place.

I went to bed last night feeling happy and relaxed and ready for whatever this week will bring out way. I'd call that a successful weekend, by anyone's definition.

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Dancing With Myself

So today got off to kind of a rough start. Apparently, my brain is taking an *extra* long weekend because I completely forgot that I'd promised to meet a client first thing this morning. Not the biggest deal ever - we easily rescheduled - but it's still embarrassing, and a brutal start to a Tuesday that feels suspiciously like a Monday.

My cure is the Glee soundtrack. Nothing makes a person happier faster than a Glee cover of 'Bust a Move' - and that's a scientific fact. There's a little bit of secret desk dancing going on here right now... And I'm seriously missing my old work buddies Christine + Dolly, because I know that if they were here and I pulled out my headphones, they'd be dancing along with me. This is not really that kind of office... :)

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Friday, September 03, 2010

Friday Smile

Have you heard about the Pepsi Refresh Everything promotion? My guess is YES, unless you live under a rock. Something you might not know is that my friend Amy - who works at UGM in Vancouver - has a project in the running to receive $100k in funding.

In order to get the money, they need to get the most votes. It would mean so much to me if you would go to the website right now and vote. It seriously only takes 30 seconds the first time - and when you go back every day to vote again (hint hint) it's a three second process... Three seconds that could help change the lives of Vancouver's homeless.

Thank you SO much!

Now, why is this my Friday Smile? If you all knew Amy, you'd understand. She cares *so* much about the people she helps. If you could spend ten minutes with her, you'd want to do everything you can to help her do what she does with UGM. And you'd be blown away at the complexity of this person who is one of the prettiest girls you've ever seen up close with the biggest heart you've ever had the pleasure of encountering. I obviously love her. And I'm obviously grateful to my friend Jason for finding her and convincing her to marry him so that we could be friends (hehe). I love that this is such a practical way for us to help her work from way out here in Winnipeg - and that's why I'm smiling.

Okay, so that was a nice story and all, but HAVE YOU VOTED YET? :P

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Thursday, September 02, 2010

The Before Picture

Briony's little table and chairs - my awesome Kijiji find this summer - are being picked up tonight to be refinished by the lovely and talented Lenore from Lather Creations. (I'm assuming she's lovely, anyway... We're only blog friends so far, hehe.)

Geoff + I chose a very soft lavender paint. I'm super excited to see the finished product in a couple of weeks! Briony loves it already, and if she can survive some time without her precious table and chairs, I know she's going to be beyond thrilled to get it back even prettier than before :)

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Behold! New Glasses!

So this was HIDEOUSLY overdue.

I picked up my two new pairs of glasses today and I'm in love with them right now. I know the doubt and insecurity will come... It's such a strange experience to adjust to having something NEW on your face every day. But I feel good in them. More importantly, I can see better in them. And I know I'll feel even better when I go for an also-embarrassingly-overdue haircut tomorrow afternoon.

I really don't want to post these, but I know the questions are coming so...


And here. LOOK AT ME BEING A GOOD SPORT. (And don't expect it to happen again anytime soon, hehe.)

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The Myth of the Only Child

TIME magazine ran a fabulous cover story a few months ago about only children. Geoff came home with the magazine when he saw it on a newsstand and I was super excited to find the article online so I could share it with others. There are so many points in this article that we relate to, I actually cried the first time I read it because I didn't feel so alone in our desire to call our family complete anymore.

The Coles Notes version? Briony's going to be just fine :)

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One Moment With Briony

The scene: The Wright family is in the car. Geoff + Briony are dropping Lindsay off at work, discussing the ridiculous cuteness of Briony's pigtails.

Lindsay (to Geoff):
She is cute.

Briony (piping up from the backseat):
She is VERY cute.

I pretty much did a Jimmy Fallon spit-take with my latte. I love this kid :)

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Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Another Milestone Day

Briony's first pigtails!

Pictured here with her very favourite toy: mama's BlackBerry.



Did anyone else notice a slight chill in the air today? That would be because HELL FROZE OVER. My husband not only saw a doctor today (gasp!), he also got his very first cell phone (seriously). And I finally got around to ordering new glasses that I get to pick up tomorrow. In fact, we crossed a ton of things off our 'to do' lists while Briony played with Katie this afternoon. We even got to have lunch together. Oh, happy day...

(Remember when a great 'date' meant oh so much more than running errands and grabbing lunch? :)

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The Day of Tiny Miracles

Today was kind of extraordinary, in that super special ordinary way. You know what I'm talking about. It was one of those days where it felt like the whole universe was conspiring to just kind of lighten my load a little bit.

Geoff forfeited sleep after a night shift to let me sleep an extra two hours this morning.

My clients were surprisingly non-needy today.

I got THREE amazing leads for casual childcare this year, all in the last 24 hours.

I found the boots I'd been coveting last winter on sale for 60% off - IN MY SIZE.

The upcoming scary day in Geoff's schedule that I'd been panicking the most over in terms of not having any help with Briony (and me needing to work) got covered today.

Briony went to sleep easily tonight. THANK YOU, GOD.

Josy was here and cleaned my house today. I still have a hundred things I feel like I need to take care of, but just knowing that my floors are all clean and my bathtub has been scrubbed is kind of incredible.

I found some new glasses frames that I like, and I'm ordering them tomorrow. WOOHOO!

I got to sneak in an hour with friends who I love - not nearly long enough, but enough. I don't think they have any idea how much it helped me for them to just spend some time loving my daughter (and helping me load up my car after).

A client who's behind on payments finally touched base with me today and is taking care of things.

I had a TWO Pumpkin Spice Latte day today.

Oh, and Katie's back in Manitoba again! YAY!

It was a remarkable day, but I didn't know that it was going to be while I was living it. In fact, today also contained some terribly low points - including my attempt to give Briony a bath by myself for the first time in months. Let's just say that there are compelling physical reasons why I don't usually handle bath duty. And I'm not likely to try again for a very long time. I ended up crying on the bathroom floor.

As I write this, I'm fighting pain along with waves of nausea and a little bit of a fever. Healthwise, today was incredibly difficult. Making it until my appointment in October is going to be really, really hard. But it's these little moments and random pockets of joy that make me believe that we can do it.

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