Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Before / After

I don't think I've talked about it since I made The Decision, but I am SO HAPPY that I went on anti-depressants. The meds - and the fact that they are working as well as they are - play a huge part in my ability to work and be a mom and not make everyone around me cry in the process. (Other than that guy in Superstore... But that's another story for another day.)

I can't remember the last time I felt more like ME. And the side effects are pretty much non-existent, other than one that I hadn't counted on at all.

You see, a funny thing happens when one spouse goes on anti-depressants. It gives the other spouse free license to question every ounce of regular human emotional reaction they witness and ask if said emotional spouse has taken their meds today. Which causes the emotional spouse to become EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL.


The one and only thing I miss about My Life Before Anti-Depressants is that ability to react authentically (and it's not only Geoff who is watching me). I feel like I'm still Lindsay - with all the ups and downs and occasional drama that go along with being Lindsay. But now I'm Lindsay Under A Microscope. And I'm not really sure how I feel about that.

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At February 16, 2010 7:52 PM, Anonymous Marilyn said...

Come up with some humorous retort if you feel like a 'slide' under view....perhaps like Robin with Dr. Phil, "Don't you nurse Geoff me!"

At February 16, 2010 10:16 PM, Blogger ka said...

Hey, it's no picnic NOT being on meds. Like, every time I get all excited about ALL the plans I have for the house (plans which are purely big picture - no budget or logistics factored in :), he asks if I should be on something to calm down.

Is it too much to ask for new pot lights in the living room and kitchen? Plus new baseboards cut to fit. Plus new bedroom doors. Plus trim that's painted white. Plus then new coats of paint in EVERY room (obviously!)... Plus...

Okay. Okay. He *may* have a point... But I bet Geoff SO doesn't. :)

At February 17, 2010 7:52 AM, Anonymous Bonny said...

I know exactly how you feel. I am a much better version of me when I'm on the anti-depressants. my husband also questions me on how I'm feeling today like I'm a mental patient. It drives me crazy!

At February 17, 2010 1:34 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

Marilyn - Ooh, I like that one :)

KA - If you won't take them, then maybe Kris needs meds...

Bonny - It's always nice to hear from another 'survivor' :)


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