Today's big goal was to START organizing our office. Hey, if I'm going to work here again, I require significantly less clutter and chaos. And possibly some yellow accents. But that's a project for after all this filing is finished.
I had some music to keep me company, and a few old favourites came on - some mid-90s awesomeness from my girls Lisa Loeb, Natalie Merchant, and OF COURSE The Cranberries (old stuff because everyone knows the last couple of albums were seriously subpar) - and then this piece of FABULOUS that is still one of my all-time favourite songs.
It made me smile. I like that it fit me then, and it still kind of fits me now. That tells me that there's some fundamental truth in it that matches up with my essential Lindsayness. And that's why music sometimes gives me goosebumps.
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My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad and
I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through Then you hand me a towel and all I see is you And even if my house falls down, I wouldn't have a clue Because you're near me and
I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life
I have a severe case of blogger's block. I don't know what's going on. And I felt pretty lame about the whole thing - because I'm supposedly a WRITER - until I read Lenore's lovely post today and realized that I am not alone in this. And she's inspired me to just write my way through it, even if that means some weaker posts for a little while.
There's so much going on, so it's not a lack of things to talk about. And I'm rarely at a loss for words. I'm just in a place where I'm feeling quieter and more introspective than usual, and I don't think it's a bad thing. Maybe it's a January thing? In any case, I'm tackling lots of things around the house that have needed doing for a long time, and it's been good for my soul. In the last couple of weeks, Geoff has helped me tackle our most dreaded cupboards and installed new pull-out baskets in them so I can actually access everything I need to (even on flared up days). I brought a giant bin of Briony's old clothes for consignment and I have another that I need to bring tomorrow. I picked up a bunch of clear containers to help organize Briony's toys a little better.
I'm not used to spending this much time at home, so I'm REALLY noticing the things that make our home more house-like. So I'm slowly but surely implementing better organizational systems in other cluttered areas of our house. And it's helping. I just wish I had the energy and a clear schedule to just GET IT DONE.
Patience has never been my strong suit.
Beginning ridiculously large projects with superhuman gusto and unhealthy doses of optimism? Yes, that sounds more Lindsay-like :)
So I'm having a little bit of trouble finding my groove again after vacation. It hardly seems worth it when I know that Christmas - and another major disruption to our schedule - is just around the corner... But alas, my family must eat. And wear clean clothes. And all that other stuff :)
Anyway.
Yesterday, I found a chicken in my freezer. And I remembered that there was a super easy recipe for Slow Cooker Rotisserie Chicken that I'd bookmarked to try. THANK YOU, UNIVERSE. I ended up making a totally delicious dinner (with leftover chicken... YES!) that was stupidly easy. And it was so good that I had to share.
It sounds spicy. It's not AT ALL. The only work was mixing up the spices, but our whole family enjoyed this so much that I think I'll probably just mix an extra-large batch next time and have it ready to use in the cupboard - which would officially make this the Easiest Dinner Option Ever. You can tell that it's healthier than the pre-made chickens you can buy at the store, and Geoff declared it to be a perfectly acceptable substitute. Awesome.
(I used a frozen organic chicken from Superstore that I threw in the fridge the night before. I pulled it out of the fridge just after lunchtime, left the skin on, and put the chicken on the rack inside my slow cooker on high. And I didn't put the garlic or onion inside because the chicken wasn't 100% thawed and because that's just gross. But it turned out perfectly!)
Okay, so moving our Josy Day to the day before the party might just be my most brilliant evil scheme to date. The work isn't ALL done for me, but having 95% of the clean-up done - BY SOMEONE ELSE - before our family's crazy double birthday weekend feels gooood. It kind of makes all my work stress worth it. This money was very hard earned, but very well spent.
I still have issues believing that I should be able to have it all and do it all. I'm realizing more all the time that I can't - that NO ONE CAN. And if in between taking care of and loving my family, working and running my own business, and keeping myself healthy, the thing that I need some extra help with is having my house cleaned twice a month, I think we're doing well. And more importantly, I've chosen to 'give up' the right thing - the thing that exhausts me and steals my joy.
Anyway. Enough justification. I'm going to go put my feet up and revel in my genius (read: find something to eat for lunch, clean out the fridge, write a news release, start a load of laundry, and prep for my two conference calls coming up this afternoon).
I joined a good friend - and her good friend - for a 'girls night out' at their church a few weeks ago. I didn't ask a lot of questions, I just knew that I needed to get out of the house (and we've talked about maybe switching to this church so I thought it might be cool to meet some people there in advance). We sat down and I realized that the guest speaker for the evening is something I've totally heard speak before. At first, I was disappointed. But it was *so* what I needed to hear.
THANK YOU, UNIVERSE.
She's a fabulous woman who is a wife and mommy and small business owner, and she's developed some extraordinary systems for managing her household and minimizing clutter in her life. Just like the first time I heard her speak, I left feeling inspired. Unlike the last time, I walked away with a copy of one of the books she highly recommends - and after reading the first couple of chapters, I had a mini breakthrough. I've realized that I am a perfectionist when it comes to managing out home. The result is a home full of clutter, because I don't want to start something I can't finish and do perfectly - so I keep putting it off, and getting super stressed out about the clutter.
Don't get me wrong... Our house is far from an episode of Hoarders. But it's also far from the tranquil space that I *so* wish it could be.
Armed with this realization (and accompanying painful self-admission), I took a couple of cautious little baby steps to incorporate some of the ideas into our life. Step One (for me) was spending 15 minutes pulling things out of our front closet that we don't need anymore. Much to my horror, I filled two giant recycling bags full of stuff to donate. AND I DIDN'T FINISH CLEANING OUT THE WHOLE CLOSET. There's more to go through. And I didn't clean it at all - there's still some dirt on the floor and fingerprints on the door and uncoordinated hangers turned around the wrong way. And I didn't sort things into the pretty boxes and baskets I planned to shop for before tackling The Closet Project in the first place. Or find something to hang on the wall behind the bench to really FINISH our entrance space. I just spent 15 minutes doing a little bit.
I feel stupid admitting that I didn't know it was possible to do something halfway (not EVEN halfway) and still feel good about it.
The bags were dropped off immediately the next day, and even though it wasn't FINISHED, I feel so much better. And with a little bit of extra space available there again, I've been hanging up coats and stashing shoes inside instead of tucking them on top of and underneath the built-in bench right beside it - which in turn is keeping our entrance cleaner and making me happier.
If I'd known that taking a baby step - and doing something halfway - would make me THIS happy, I would have done it forever ago.
It's really the little things, hey? :)
Part Two
Did you know that the restaurant Serendipity (from the movie) is a real place in NYC? That really serves that ridiculous-looking frozen hot chocolate? I AM SO DETERMINED TO GO THERE.
Stopped at our friendly neighbourhood Starbucks today, and our 'regular' barista came around the counter to shake my hand and introduce himself. 'I want to know your name. Right now, to me, you're Double Tall Nonfat Vanilla Latte Girl - and you're married to Scooter Guy.' It made me smile. And the smile turned into a full-fledged grin when he gave me my Double Tall Nonfat Vanilla Latte for free. My usual. I have always wanted to have a usual somewhere. Given how I'm *so* much a creature of habit, I suppose it was just a matter of time before someone caught on :)
Took Geoff for his follow-up appointment with the surgeon today. He got his staples out and the surgeon is super happy with how it's all looking. Geoff got permission to increase the angle of his leg brace. It will be sloooow and steady process, but today was a step forward.
While I was sitting in the waiting room during Geoff's appointment, someone came out of the clinic area holding his leg brace (he's gone in a few minutes earlier wearing it). He had the biggest smile on his face. He walked right past me, then turned around and came back to tell me that we'd make it - that my husband would be the one walking out of there holding his brace before we know it. Kind of random, but it totally made my day.
Woke up more tired and in pain than usual today. It feels like I've been trudging through quicksand as I've been working through my to-do list. I HATE THAT.
Tomorrow is our last day with Libby here. I drop her off at the airport EARLY on Wednesday morning. It's going to be sad to say goodbye... We've had a great time with her, and she's been such an incredible support for us over the last two weeks.
As I'm sitting here, I can smell beef barley vegetable soup in simmering in the slow cooker and an apple pie baking in the oven. I AM A DOMESTIC GODDESS. Even if the soup is pretty much just last night's leftovers repurposed and the pie was totally just pulled from my freezer ;)
And speaking sarcastically of my Domestic Goddess title, I hit up M+M and Safeway with Geoff today to pick up some prefab meal components to help get us through the next couple of weeks. And another salad kit (turns out they're actually kind of good... and Safeway sells organic ones!). I'm done apologizing. It's not like I'm running through the McDonald's drive-through every night to feed my family. Some chicken breasts that have been pre-stuffed by some factory machine rather than yours truly will probably not kill us.
All my clients collectively decided to wallop my inbox today. It's going to be a crazy week. OF COURSE.
An eNewsletter that I've been working on launching for MONTHS finally went out on Friday and it felt GOOD. Just about ready to wrap up the content for Issue 2 and it's going *so* much more smoothly so far. That makes me happy. New projects are fun, but so is finding your groove.
Briony's been tippy-toeing around the house in her ladybug tutu off and on all day today, waving her wand and twirling around. And wearing my cat ears. I love her.
I was Bitchy Paranoid Mom today and cancelled Girls Night because my friend's daughter (who was going to tag along) was sick yesterday. Crazy? Maybe. Responsible? I like to think so. I was super sad to have to reschedule but I cannot imagine dealing with ANY of us being sick right now on top of everything else I'm attempting to balance this week. Seriously. CAN YOU IMAGINE?!
We totally bought some discount Halloween candy today. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I have a bowl of candy on my dining room table. And a few leftover cupcakes from yesterday. And the aforementioned PIE. I have a sneaking suspicion that this won't be my best-ever eating week.
Brainstorming ideas of things that Libby could take back as a little treat for her family that would be distinctly Winnipeg-ish. Any ideas?
I just made the easiest, yummiest banana muffins ever. TRUE STORY. This is not my usual recipe, but I came across it this morning and had everything in my cupboards... The rest is delicious, delicious history.
In fact, they were so delicious that I am compelled to share. Enjoy! It's a banana muffin kind of day out there. And I know you have a couple of sad-looking bananas sitting on your counter RIGHT NOW, don't you? It's okay. I don't judge :)
Banana Graham Muffins (an old Company's Coming recipe)
Combine in large bowl: 3/4 c flour (I used 1/2 c white and 1/4 c whole wheat) 1 c graham cracker crumbs 1/2 c brown sugar, packed 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt
Combine in small bowl: 1 egg 1/4 c cooking oil 3 bananas, mashed 2/3 c chopped walnuts (I used pecans... REBEL!)
Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Fill lined or greased muffin cups almost full. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes.
The recipe claims to make 12 muffins. I got 8 muffins. *shrugs shoulders*
So this afternoon's trip to Safeway turned out to be a little lesson in humility.
The hardest thing for me to swallow about yesterday's appointment is the reality that the 'short-term survival mode' we used to plow through the summer needs to switch over into something more long-term and sustainable. If this is as good as it's going to get for a while, then we need to make this the new normal and figure out how to live our best life with what we have to work with.
The first mini-makeover I needed to undertake was streamlining our meals. Oh, and we were almost out of milk. So off to Safeway I went...
It might sound stupid to some people, but I pride myself on feeding our little family well - organic, whole food that's been processed as little as possible, to the full extent that I can do this on a limited budget and with limited energy. It's something that is incredibly important to me. Maybe someone else really cares about having a kitchen floor you could eat off of or a perfectly manicured lawn, but this is my thing.
Today, I had to let go of a little bit of that thing. Today was all about discovering some pre-fab meal component options for us to try out. Not every component of every meal, but enough that I can simplify my time in the kitchen. By the end of the trip, I had a shopping cart full of things I usually judge other moms for having in their carts. I bought meatballs, people. I BOUGHT them. Instead of making them. AND they're not even made of turkey. Oh, and a SALAD KIT. Geez. I don't even want to think how much more I paid for that than I would have if I'd built said salad on my own, just to have some factory worker making minimum wage pre-measure a couple of teaspoons of salad ingredients into stupid little bags for me. Whatever. At least it was organic.
Are you judging me? I can feel you judging me. Whatever. It's my blog, and I'm just being honest.
Anyway, the point is that at the end of my trip, I sucked it up and asked for carry-out service. Now, if you ever want to feel judged by someone, try asking for carry-out service when you *appear* to be perfectly able-bodied... But I knew that I needed help. And I asked for help. I let the lady helping me push the cart and empty every last bag into my car without helping at all. I just stood there looking and feeling like a douchebag. I'm sure the lady helping me went back inside and bitched about me to every last one of her coworkers in the break room, but I was still proud of myself for asking for what I needed today.
And thus concludes one of our early adventures in managing our new normal. It's not life-and-death, I know, but sometimes the most important changes we can make are the little everyday ones.
Now I'm off to go throw a lasagna that was made in a factory somewhere into the oven. And open up a dozen random tiny bags of things to put together a salad kit :)
I'm also looking for any referrals you might have for a good, reliable - and preferably 'green' - house cleaning service.
We haven't made any decisions yet, we're just exploring our options... And as lame as I feel admitting that I can't do it all - I CAN'T DO IT ALL. So I would at least like to get an estimate so that we can make the best decision for our family.
Does anyone know where I can find someone to make me a bunch of Mennonite carbolicious meat buns for my freezer? They're great to have on hand - but a pain in the @$$ to make - and I would like nothing more than to pay someone to do all the work for me.
It's not exactly a secret that I'm an absolute nazi when it comes to expiration dates, best before dates, and potentially spoiled foods. If you've lived with me - or even worked with me - it's pretty certain that I've forced you to smell something. Or thrown something out behind your back if I deemed it questionable. Or thrown a capital-letters FIT when you ate something icky in front of me simply to watch and laugh at my (over)reaction.
My friend Amber introduced me to this awesome website last week. I've been on it at least ten times since then, so I figured I should share - because I can't be the only one who cares about this stuff. And it's actually pretty cool to turn yourself into an expert in making your groceries stretch as long as possible simply by caring for them properly.
Yep, that's right. Food storage and gravy boats in the same day. COOLEST. BLOG. EVER.
It was a good day, despite the fact that I had to set my alarm early. I bundled up and walked to Starbucks then caught a bus downtown for my meeting at The Arthritis Society. I'm still doing volunteer work for them - different than before - and stay tuned for not one but TWO major initiatives launching soon that I've got my paws all over. I'm *so* super excited about them both, I just about danced out of that office.
Oh, and surprised about the whole bus-in-the-cold thing? Me too, kind of. But it was a heck of a lot warmer than starting my car and a heck of a lot less stressful than trying to find parking. Would you also be surprised to know that when I was working those two days last week at my client's office, I *walked* there? It was freaking cold, but I actually kind of enjoyed it. I'm walking there again in the morning. And yet, I'm not losing any weight at all... Sigh. It's one of the great mysteries of life.
Anyway. Geoff + Briony picked me up at lunchtime and we spent a few hours running errands. And then we got home and I did some work and then I was feeling inspired by the success of my gingerbread yesterday so I decided to try making crostini for the first time - with vanilla, almonds, hazelnuts, dried cherries, and currants. I MUST be feeling better. They are *almost* done... I decided to leave the final baking part for tomorrow night when Emily comes to do some other baking with me. But they smell awesome.
I was feeling pretty good about myself, and about my day, until it was bedtime - and I didn't feel like sleeping. At all. And then reality came and punched me right in the face. I suddenly remembered The Other Time In My Life When I Was Taking These Particular Pills. And I remembered why I had stopped. Because they acted like a stimulant for me during the day, but it didn't wear off in time for me to sleep... So I eventually had to start taking a little something at night too. And then the dosage of each medication slooooowly started creeping up until I was both Seriously Drugged To Wake Up and Seriously Drugged To Sleep. I'm sending fervent prayers in the general direction of the sky hoping that we can figure something out to avoid that whole scenario again, because - for right now - we're keeping the drugs.
Oh, and did I mention that my gallbladder is acting up again? Because my gallbladder is acting up again. This surgery cannot come soon enough (and no, I don't have a date yet). I can't believe how excited I am for someone to cut my abdomen open and remove stuff :)
I don't think it's any one thing... It's a bunch of little stress triggers that have all converged on this oddly sunny Tuesday in September. It's just not a good day. So I think I'm going to leave it at that. I hate dwelling on those negative feelings and giving them so much power. At this point, I'm just kind of on survival mode - and I'm deciding that tomorrow is going to be a much better day.
Fortunately, I took the time to put together a meal plan and grocery list last night that should be good for the rest of this week. (I know. I'm a 40 year old housewife. But I figured I'd give this kind of domestic planning a try.) And Geoff was a sweetie and picked up groceries today. So at least I can make a good dinner when I get home tonight... At almost eight months pregnant and working full time, I'm finding it almost impossible to do both - grocery shopping AND cooking - in the same evening. And it's amazing what a proper (healthy) meal does for a person's outlook on life.
That's what I'm hoping, anyway. I'm really hoping to scrape together the energy to clean the other half of the bathroom tonight that I just didn't have the gumption to finish yesterday.
Remember when this blog was about a young single gal and all her zany adventures working as an entry-level ad agency minion, going on disastrous first dates, and dealing with a ridiculous revolving door of roommates in crappy apartments?... :)
Have I mentioned that we have a couple of tenants at our new house? Rabbits. Or more accurately, baby bunnies. They are about the size of a teacup and they are SO CUTE.
We saw them for the first time when we were working on the yard last weekend - two of them, tiny and brown. And then last night while I was weeding in the front of the house, something suddenly moved in the bush that was six inches in front of my face. I'll admit it - I'm prissy and I'm a girl. I screamed and jumped backwards. And then I looked a little closer, and saw that I'd scared the living crap out of a tiny little (SO CUTE) baby bunny rabbit. We locked eyes for a second, then he ran underneath the front steps.
I have NO IDEA what to do about these little guys - or why they are living in River Heights. And I know they won't stay little, and then they'll be bona fide pests.
So I totally suck at gardening. I spent last night in a state of total confusion... See, the house boasts a whole bunch of gorgeous flowerbeds. All are full of perennials. And I simply cannot tell the difference between a flower and a weed! Some of them are obvious. Some are NOT OBVIOUS AT ALL.
I ended up working for an hour, then giving up. I will need to invite someone over to take me through Gardening For Dummies, and point to each green thing while saying, 'That's a weed. That's not a weed. That's... I actually have no idea. Good luck with that.'
Other than that, it was a very good day. Geoff and I met with the great people at the Millennium Centre and made a decision to have our wedding there, a decision we're both super-happy about. More details to follow, of course, but we've decided on (ready for this? it's super-fast!) Sunday, September 30. Crazy. It's all starting to feel so real now, and I'm getting really excited.
Sharing the journey that has taken me from being a single girl in the advertising agency world to a married mommy running my own freelance writing and consulting business (and every random adventure in between).
THINGS I LOVE: Thunderstorms, power ballads, princess camping, exploring new cities, Jon Stewart, greatest hits CDs, clever ads, packing for a trip, George Clooney, impractical footwear, movies about spies, Starbucks, reading an entire book in one sitting, a house full of friends, movies about spies, buying presents, a perfect French manicure, warm modernist architecture, getting flowers for no reason, being faux brunette, Mary Poppins, making lists on Post-It notes, decorating for Christmas, having a brilliant middle-of-the-night 'aha!' idea and then actually remembering it in the morning / THINGS I HATE: People who whine, wearing sweats in public, 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, birds, American tourists in foreign countries, taking down the Christmas tree, poems that rhyme, the misuse of semicolons, being lied to, unpacking after a trip, being closed-minded, naming your kid something common but then spelling it stupidly, cowboys, overly cautious drivers, fake curse words, ridiculously long surnames, strangers who start awkward conversations with you in places you can't readily escape
