runlindsayrun

My Little World

Lots of tiny changes going on in my little corner of the universe lately. Nothing earth-shattering, just lots of small stuff.

The first is that I seem to be doing a lot more copywriting at work than usual lately. And - to my surprise - that's not a bad thing. In fact, it's kind of calming and a little bit fun, even though it's making me busier than usual. I missed using my words for good, and stretching that part of my brain.

I've also been doing my best to track my daily meds, sleep, food, exercise, and just kind of generally how I'm feeling. It's been kind of scary, because I'm sick of writing that I'm tired and hurting. But the good thing is that I've been forcing myself to record one thing every single day that I did for ME - things like going for a massage, meeting Emily for a movie, meeting Geoff for lunch, and other things that make me smile. It's just funny when it's 9 pm and I'm looking frantically around for something that I can do for myself so that I don't have a blank section in my journal! I'm sure it will get easier and easier.

I know that people grow in itty bitty little baby steps that are probably intangible unless you're far removed from it. But every so often, I have a moment where I think - WOW, I've grown over the last couple of months. I feel like I'm becoming a more honest person. Not that I wasn't honest before, but I used to be much more concerned about hurting people's feelings or disappointing them. Now I understand that I need to take care of myself, because no one else will ever do that for me. It's a good thing. But it's not a conflict-free road, and that's taking some adjustment. I absolutely HATE conflict, and I'm usually that person who will say anything I need to in order to make things okay again. I'm becoming that person who will stand my ground when it's important and make sure that I walk away with what I need in order to be healthy and happy.

So that's about it. I've been working hard, and making time for some fun stuff in between - a chick flick with Emily on Monday night, and a massage and lots of time with The Boy yesterday. Oh, and avoiding going outside as much as possible!

Labels: Arthritis/Fibromyalgia, Cocoon, My Friends, My Life

posted by Lindsay @ 1:03 PM