Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sick Day

My bulletproof positive attitude called in sick today.

Of course, today is also the day that the universe seems to have chosen to MESS WITH ME. And I am going to lose my $#^! here in about twelve seconds unless one measly good thing can happen before something else that's lousy does.

Quick! I want to hear your best joke in the comments section for this post... MAKE ME LAUGH.

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At October 12, 2010 2:46 PM, Anonymous Liz Panting said...

Okay, you asked... brace yourself...

Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and an Irishman?

A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" and an Irishman says, "Hey, McCleod, get off of my ewe!"

...sorry. It was the first thing I could think of. Actually, not true, but it was the least dirty joke I could think of off the top of my head, if you can believe it.

Oh, and I read your blog. :) Hope your day improves. :)

At October 12, 2010 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not a joke but you have the most beautiful entertaining daughter that can make you laugh and smile. Go get a hug and all will be right with the world!

At October 12, 2010 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

Poke her in the face:)

Ha,that's entirely lame but kinda funny?

At October 12, 2010 6:04 PM, Anonymous Rob said...

Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth.

Life is good in the South.

At October 12, 2010 10:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

James' Joke

Q: How do you make a kleenex dance?

A: Put a boogie in it!

At October 13, 2010 11:46 AM, Blogger Amber said...

I know it's late, but three words:
Matching coral dresses


At October 15, 2010 5:45 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

*standing ovation*


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