Wednesday, August 11, 2010

On The Edge

"I'm so tired of standing on the edge of myself. You know I'm longing for it, to dive in..."
- Jennifer Knapp

Lately, I've been obsessed with the idea that this - right here, right now - should be the happiest time of my life. I have a husband who loves me. I have a healthy, happy, beautiful daughter. I have a job that allows me to spend lots of time with both of them (and some clients who I'm beyond thrilled to be working with). I have a supportive family and generous, encouraging friends. I even managed to finish school this summer. Granted, my health is a challenge that probably factors into all of this... But overall, my life is great. So why I am so utterly incapable of just letting go and enjoying it?

It's not that I'm UNhappy. That's not it at all. But I wish that I could just stop and embrace and truly appreciate all the wonderful things in my life right now.

On the recommendation of a friend (thanks Nicole!), I've been working my way through The Happiness Project. I'm about halfway through a whirlwind read, but I can already tell that I'll be going back and giving each chapter and slow and thoughtful second read.

The author - Gretchen Rubin - talks a lot about her quest to just be Gretchen. That idea has made me think so much about what it would look like in my life to just be Lindsay. If I worried less about what I think others expect from me, what would fall away and what would take higher priority in my life right now?

I want to embrace my full Lindsay-ness. Exactly how I'll accomplish that remains to be seen. But I suspect a personal Happiness Project of sorts may be in the works...


Yeah. That is so just a photo snagged from the internet... As if Lindsay has fun mugs like that (hehe).

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