Tuesday, August 03, 2010

In A Nutshell

Briony’s napping and I just went to go have a shower. In the safe little hiding place of a shower stall with the water running, I had a really good cry.

We’ve been out in BC for six days now and we’re here for four more. I miss Geoff like crazy, but I know absolutely that we are supposed to be here right now. The tears I cried today were tears of joy and relief over the support that Briony + I have had this week. I’m not in as much pain as I had feared I might be, but it’s worse that I had hoped for - does that make sense? I’m still very much in the middle of a flare, but we have the most incredible families who love us, and they are doing everything they can to help me get better.

We’re staying with Geoff’s parents, and right now his sister and two of her kids are here too. Briony is absolutely in love with all of them, and there are always extra arms to lift her into her booster seat, to load her into her car seat, to set up her stroller, to put her down for her nap... Incredible.

Thursday was our big travel day. We flew out here with my parents, who showed up early to bring us to the airport so I had two extra sets of hands to help with last-minute packing and getting Briony fed and out the door. Our first flight was delayed and then we had a layover in Calgary over lunchtime/naptime, and I don’t know how I would have done any of it without my parents there to help. We landed in Vancouver and picked up their rental car, then they dropped us off in Abbotsford at Geoff’s parents’ place.

Friday was a quiet day, and my primary focus was getting Briony settled in here before things got really crazy. I just need to pause and say that we really have the most incredible kid... We ask SO much of her, and she’s just amazing in her ability to adapt and be happy no matter what. She’s been sleeping like a champ out here - both for naps and at night. She has never once fussed when someone puts her in her playpen, and she has never once woken up during the night. I’m crying as I write this because I think that God knows absolutely what we can handle (and what we can’t).

I was MIA on Saturday and Sunday, meeting up with my parents to help Aaron + Cait make their big move from White Rock into downtown Vancouver. We worked so hard and had so much fun... I was able to have breakfast with Briony both days (and even snuck in a quick trip to the farmers’ market with Briony + Marilyn on Saturday morning) but otherwise she was left in my mother-in-law’s very capable hands. It sounds like they had a weekend full of giggles and grand adventures, and I’m happy they were able to spend that special time together.

So many stories about the move. Most of them to do with the fact that Aaron + Cait's new apartment building is about half a block from the literal epicentre of the Pride Weekend festivities - including the giant parade that happened on Moving Day. There are way too many to share here right now, but let's just say that I will never look at day-glo artificial feathers the same way again... hehe. The apartment itself is cozy and super cute, with giant windows that overlook English Bay - one of those views that makes you want to pinch yourself when you realize that people actually get to wake up and see that every day, not just on vacation. I think they'll be very, very happy there. It's absolutely perfect for them.

Geoff’s sister Joanne - along with Hannah + David - showed up in Abbotsford on Sunday night and are staying until tomorrow. It’s been really nice to spend some proper time with them, and especially to watch Briony interacting with her cousins. She LOVES her cousins. And they are so wonderful and patient with her. She absolutely adores Hannah and hangs on every word she says, and Briony + David invented a new game yesterday that involves a lot of chasing and scaring and she squeals in delight every time.

Yesterday was my ‘evening off’ on this trip, and I left Briony with Marilyn + Joanne to go have dinner with my friends Jason + Amy. We talked, laughed, ate, and watched the finale of The Bachelorette. It was such a good time.

The rest of the trip is going to be much quieter - and deliberately so, because today was the day I picked to switch onto new arthritis meds. It’s hard to tell how it’s going to go... My hips, back, neck, and shoulders are really bothering me today. But it’s also raining today, so I have no idea if it’s the meds or the weather (or both). I don’t feel quite as nauseated so far, and I have only had a very slight headache today - much better than the last meds (on those, I started out nauseated but had been full-on throwing up a few times over the last two weeks, and the headache was constant). Time will tell, I suppose.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t working full-time to shove down the feelings of panic every time I think about flying home alone with Briony on Saturday. I just need to trust that - even in this situation - God knows what I can handle.

And that pretty much brings us to today. I’m almost caught up on work, and even managed to read a few chapters in a new book last night that I’m thinking about continuing (with a cup of tea) in a few minutes. Briony + I have a playdate planned with Vicky + Ava on Thursday, otherwise our week is wide open with lots of time for relaxing, getting better, and gearing up for Saturday.

Despite all the pain I’m feeling - and the gloomy rainclouds outside - I’m feeling surprisingly optimistic. I just feel very taken care of - physically, emotionally, spiritually. I never in a thousand years would have chosen to be in this place right now with my arthritis and a toddler, but I also have this overwhelming feeling that it’s going to be okay. It might not happen exactly the way I choose, but it’s going to be okay.

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At August 03, 2010 5:31 PM, Blogger Nessie said...

Your trip sounds lovely! Your comments about God not placing more on our shoulders than we can handle reminded me of this quote by C.S. Lewis: "God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them." Though C.S. and I don't see eye to eye on everything, I have to admit that quote helps me out quite a bit.
Enjoy the rest of your vacation! I'm sure you and Briony will have an easy-does flight home.

At August 04, 2010 10:56 AM, Blogger Black Out Photography said...

The end of your post reminded me of this, and I've been listening to it all morning:
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

Thank you for being an encouragement even though you might not know it. You are a fantastic mom, friend, sister and daughter. I'm VERY proud of you, and I know how scared I was at the thought of flying alone with a baby as well, but I'm sending prayers your way that you'll be surrounded by angels willing to carry your bags, and fold your stroller at the very least.

Love you.

At August 04, 2010 9:05 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

@Nessie - I hadn't heard that quote before. Thanks for sharing! I'll definitely be hanging onto that one.

@Jessica - Thank you so much :)


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