Friday, April 02, 2010

Ordinary Moments

I love mornings at home with Geoff and Briony. I love everything about them. I love it when we're all on the couch together in our pyjamas, Briony with her bottle and the grown-ups sipping tea and talking about the day ahead. Every once in a while - in the middle of one of these perfectly ordinary moments - I can feel my breath catch in my chest, realizing that even though there's nothing really special about this morning, we can only live it once. It's never going to be *exactly* the same again.

Everything is moving so fast. People tell you that it will happen this way, but you have no concept of how quickly time can fly until you have a child. My baby girl looks visibly bigger and older in the last couple of weeks. Geoff swears that she grew up during the three days he was gone to work and didn't see her this week. I think he's right. And even though my days this week each stretched on FOREVER... They're gone. I can't believe it's the end of another week already.

It's overwhelming sometimes. I think it's particularly profound as we realize more with every passing week and month that our family feels complete without the second baby we both always just assumed we'd have. I boxed up most of my maternity clothes this morning to drop off with a friend who needs them, and packed up a bunch of baby things for another friend and a consignment store. We're not getting rid of everything - a thousand people have all warned us that we should wait a few more years to be absolutely certain - but I think that just knowing that our family might be complete now makes the passing of time so significant for us. We are truly living each moment, each day, each stage one time.

I sometimes wonder if that's why I've been such an emotional mommy - because I'm living the 'first time' and the 'last time' at the same time. I'm a little frightened about what the *real* milestones are going to be like. HELLO first day of kindergarten... I'm trying to wrap my head around the implications of dropping off my first baby for her first day of school and letting my last baby go at the exact same time. I should buy shares in Kleenex now to make paying for her university a breeze. GAH! University!... ;)

As I sweep the floor for the millionth time, anticipating the day when we no longer have a crawler in our house, I realize that the day Briony walks will be the end of an era for our family. I think that's why I secretly love that she hasn't started yet. It's keeping her a baby for just a little bit longer, and it's like God knew that I needed that time to snuggle my baby and enjoy the fact that she's not quite independent yet.

I've been mulling this all over in my heart this week, and then I visited another blog this morning and came across a wonderful video that summed up everything that I've been thinking about. It's absolutely beautiful.

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At April 02, 2010 8:59 PM, Blogger Nikki + Shane said...

I felt the same way when I saw the video this morning on my daily visit to check in on my mommas.

Can't wait to connect and have tea with our girls (and boy :))

At April 02, 2010 11:23 PM, Anonymous Momma said...

That video is incredible. I realized that I've been grieving not having my children at home again lately. I'm so happy that they are such wonderful young adults but if I could go back, I would have savoured those ordinary family times more. I didn't know that life would change so drastically and so quickly!

At April 03, 2010 12:04 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

Nicole - Awww... You have a GIRL! To have TEA PARTIES with! I messaged you with a few days that work. Don't worry, we won't tell Palmer that he's not a Single Lady :)

Mom - I know. For the record, I feel like you did a great job of treasuring those moments. We made some great memories doing things that were utterly normal for us - HELLO doctor's office waiting rooms. Life did change quickly for us over the last couple of years... But I'm pretty sure that's just how life works.

At April 03, 2010 5:43 PM, Blogger Katie Swan said...

That video was really good. Makes me want to go back home!

At April 03, 2010 9:21 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I can so relate to your thoughts and emotions... though you wrote it so much nicer than I would have. Here at the Plett home there is rarely a day that goes by that someone doesn't say "I am so happy", and most times that happens on the most ordinary of days. Surrounded by my two kiddos, my husband, our home, our friends, our family... all the little ordinary things that I love about life are the things I have each day. We feel totally, and undeservedly blessed.


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