runlindsayrun

Looking Back, Looking Forward

I really like New Years. It might be the geek in me. I just think it's such a healthy process to take time to reflect on the year that's past and set new goals for the next twelve months. This week, I've been doing lots of thinking about the past year. It was an interesting one, that's for sure. Not *quite* as eventful as 2008 - and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But we had so many highlights.

Briony went from being a six week old to being a thirteen-and-a-half month old, and there aren't really words to describe all the changes in her (and in us). It's been a ridiculous adventure, and we're only getting started. I know that we hadn't really planned to be parents quite yet, but I can't imagine what we were waiting for. Briony is the perfect addition to our family and she came at the perfect time. I can't imagine my life right now without her in it.

Geoff and I celebrated our second anniversary on September 30. It's kind of overwhelming to think that we were strangers only a little more than three years ago. Life can change so very quickly, and this was such a good change. Again, I hadn't really planned on getting married as young as I did, but I can't imagine what I was waiting for. I love being married to Geoff, and I love our little family. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing with my life right now.

I finished my mat leave, quit my job, and started a business. None of those things were comfortable for me and all of them pushed me out of my comfort zone. But the reward for that leap of faith has been both immediate and substantial. I have no idea what the coming year will bring, but today I am able to spend the vast majority of my time at home being Briony's mommy and I'm bringing in pretty much exactly what I was making when I worked full time pre-Briony. I'm tired - exhausted some days - but if this isn't living the dream, I'm not really sure what is. And for however long this season of my life lasts, I want to embrace and enjoy every single day.

I turned 28 in July. You can place all your jokes about how I'm such a baby still RIGHT HERE ( ). This is not exactly where I thought I'd be at 28, but my ultimate goal was to be happy. And I am. So let's call it mission accomplished. As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm really looking forward to 29 and 30. There is just *so* much good still to come for our little family of three.

It was a tough year for my health, and that's something that I've really been working on. All the work I've done since I was 10 to balance my life needed to be refigured in light of all the changes in our family. I'm slowly figuring out how I can be the person I need and want to be to my friends and family - and still make myself a priority. It's a journey.

We got to spend lots of time with family this year, including a bunch of trips to the west coast to see Geoff's family and our friends there. We were there for the entire month of May, and my mom came to join us and help celebrate my very first official Mothers Day. While she was there, I had maybe the most significant day of my life in 2009: the day we got a phone call to let us know that all her tests came back cancer-free. I have no idea what the future will hold for our family, but it was one of those days that you remember forever. I remember going for a walk that afternoon with my mom, Geoff, and Briony and just being very aware of how significant those memories would be, making note of what the sky looked like and how the sun felt on my face, wishing that it could all somehow be saved and recorded and bottled up forever. It was a very good day, and one that I'll remember always.

I'm more excited about starting a new year than I ever have been before. I know that 2010 will bring lots of changes for us as we continue to figure out all the transitions that we've started in the last year or two. But I've never been more optimistic. Living through a cancer experience in my family and becoming a parent have done so much to change my perspective on what's important and where my treasures lie. The world looks different to me now, and for the first time the idea of change isn't as scary to me... Although seeing that statement in black and white is kind of scaring me right now, as if I just taunted fate... :)

Labels: Arthritis/Fibromyalgia, Briony, Family, Going Rogue, The Boy, The C Word

posted by Lindsay @ 1:33 PM