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What it Feels Like for a Girl

What an incredibly strange day.

I was feeling so out-of-sorts last night that I knew I'd need to take action today - and so I did something very brave. I set my alarm for my usual weekday wake-up time, left my house when I usually do - and went to a ladies group at church. I'm happy (and somewhat surprised) to report that I liked it. I met some really nice women, and the book they're studying is fascinating to me. It's called 'Fight Like a Girl,' and I included a book summary below. It was nice to hang out with a bunch of women and have a real discussion that really had more to do with careers and society and relationships than it did about kids - and to feel their support when they found out that I was on my first day of mat leave, because they had ALL been there.

The discussion today was really focused on traditional gender roles in society, and whether we feel more valuable as women when we act like men. In lots of ways, it was the perfect topic for me - because I think that part of my fear about beginning mat leave is that I won't feel like being a stay at home mom is 'enough.' I'm suddenly experimenting with this classic gender role that I've spent the last decade of my life fighting against. On some level, I feel like I need to be bossing people around and handing out fancy business cards in order to be truly valuable. And that's a lie. But it's going to be a long learning process to get my heart wrapped around the truth.

I know that I'll likely miss a few weeks right when Briony gets here, but I think that this group could become very important to me as a once-a-week escape to the land of grown-ups - especially because I'll be able to bring her with me. We shall see. In any case, I figured that if I started now, I might be more motivated to go once I have a baby to take along.

After the discussion wrapped up, I headed for home and had lunch with Geoff before we left again - this time to vote (still too mad to talk about it), pick up some Starbucks (mmm... Pumpkin Spice Latte), drop by Cocoon to pick up my Record of Employment and final paycheque (panic is setting in), and visit my obstetrician (have I mentioned lately that I really love her?). I'm happy to report that everything is still perfect with the pregnancy. This past week, the baby grew bigger and dropped lower - though I've been assured there is no way that this is going to be a 'big' baby. Nothing is imminent, but it's moving forward...

And now, I'm NOT watching Oprah (thankyouverymuch). I am finishing up a preparatory load of the cutest laundry I've ever seen in my life, and digging through all my recipes and trying to decide on a list of projects for this week. I want to get some stuff into our freezer - and into my parents' freezer - while I'm still able to. The only problem will be finding both the required energy and the required freezer space, in a household where an extra freezer would be considered evil and energy-inefficient (the debate du jour in the Wright household).

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl
(Madonna - What it Feels Like for a Girl)

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About 'Fight Like a Girl':
Bevere, an evangelical speaker and author known for tackling touchy topics with candor, wit and transparency, lays down the gauntlet again as she calls Christian women to cease trying to emulate men and embrace their feminine, strong nature. Bevere (Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry) offers women a clear alternative to society's take on the definition of true strength. Rather than relinquishing the power and influence that she believes women innately embody for the sake of mimicking men's overt physical strength, women can choose to wield their impact for good by way of subtler, more feminine speech and conduct. Bevere expounds upon the ways women fight best "as caretakers of others' hearts, by lifting another's spirit by speaking strength to their weaknesses, and wisely offering images of healthier, life-enhancing practices." She asserts that enemies often fall before influence rather than brute strength: "A gentle tongue can break a bone" (Prov. 25:15). Although some women will be put off by the book's gender-essentialist stance (e.g., women are by nature more tender and more spiritual, etc.), others will resonate with that message. All will appreciate Bevere's authenticity as she delves deep to unmask long-held misconceptions regarding women' uniqueness and untapped potential. (amazon.com)

Labels: Baby Talk, Maternity Leave, Stuff I'm Thinking About

posted by Lindsay @ 4:31 PM