When It Rains
I'm at a loss for words this morning. It's raining outside, and there's a storm in my heart as well.Over the past couple of days, it's become apparent that I am dealing with an arthritis flare. I didn't say anything to anyone, hoping that it was just a fluke or that it would pass... But this morning, I woke up and I knew it was still there - that old familiar darkness. And it became real when I spoke the words out loud and told Geoff about it this morning.
I'm wrestling with fear today. Fear that I won't be able to shake this over the next couple of days. Fear that these are the early signs of my body giving up on carrying me through this pregnancy without any complications. Fear that it's going to get worse, and not better. Fear that I'm going to complicate things for my family, who have enough to worry about without throwing my issues into the mix right now.
And these horrible lies are worming their way into my head, telling me that I'm going to stay sick this time and that I won't be able to take care of my baby girl - my very worst fear since I was ten years old.
I have so many Bible verses stuck in my head from when I was a kid. It's amazing to me how they come up to the surface when I need them now. This one's been running through my head all morning, working against all the lies:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29.11
I know that these words are true. I know because I already have more happiness and answered prayers in my life than I ever dreamed possible - enough that I was brave enough to hope for more. And I know that God can restore that hope.
Labels: Arthritis/Fibromyalgia, Can You Handle The Truth?
posted by Lindsay @ 10:13 AM
4 Comments:
Darlin' I'm praying for peace and strength, safety and health.
Oh Linds. You are right, don't believe those lies. You'll make it. Praying for you guys. Hugs.
Thanks for sharing this Lindsay. I was asking God to show me a verse to encourage me today, and lo and behold, here it is.
Thank you.
*hugs*
Don't believe the lies.
Hold on to the Author of that verse and don't let worries of 'tomorrow' rob you of today. I understand some of the tears now - besides hormones. So glad your Mom is halfway through and less ill this time:)
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