Another Wednesday
So it's Wednesday again. And I'm anticipating tomorrow again. But it's not with the same joy and excitement that I was feeling at this time last week.Yesterday afternoon, I officially moved into what I've dubbed 'Stage Two' of my arthritis/fibro flareup - marked by the sudden onset of an unexplained fever that won't let up. (You have enough of these things over the years, and you start to identify patterns.) It was hard not to cry about it, because it generally suggests that this flareup won't be a quick and easy one to shake.
Tomorrow marks one week since I woke up feeling sick. It's also the day I see my GP for my Week 28 appointment - so I'm happy about the fact that I'll at least get to discuss this latest challenge with him. Sometimes it just helps to know there's a medical professional in the loop and on my team, even if there's really nothing they can do to help other than listen.
It's discouraging and scary to wake up every morning feeling like this. I want so badly to experience a *normal* pregnancy, and to enjoy my first weeks and months of being a mommy. I want it so badly that it makes my heart hurt. I never expected that would be possible for me, but these last few healthy months tricked me into having so much hope - and so this just feels MEAN.
I'm hanging in there, and I'm still optimistic that I might wake up tomorrow and feel 100% myself again. Well, 100% myself at 6+ months pregnant... You know what I mean.
PS - I'm finding myself getting really embarrassed about the way I'm walking. I always end up doing this waddle/shuffle-type walk when I'm in the middle of a flare up (if you know me in real life, then you know exactly what I mean). It's embarrassing at the best of times. But I'm concerned that people think I'm just being really dramatic and attention-seeking about how pregnant I am. Isn't that horrible?! :)
Labels: Arthritis/Fibromyalgia, Can You Handle The Truth?
posted by Lindsay @ 2:46 PM
6 Comments:
aw, my heart goes out to you. I hope that this current symptom passes by quickly, and you can get back to feeling like a normal six month pregnant wonderful lady! my thoughts and prayers are with you! *hug*
Oh man, I can't imagine how you must be feeling Lindsay, but know that I'm rootin' for you for this to pass soon.
Do not worry about what others think of your gait. At least, you can walk:) May this ill/blip soon pass.
My prayers will be reinforced.This too shall pass.
Honey, you are on my heart! I pray that you wake up one of these mornings feeling 100% better.
Praying for a quick end to this flare up. Hang in there.
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