Monday, June 28, 2010

Tough Stuff

First, the good news. I called my family doctor this morning and got in to see him immediately. Let the record reflect that taking the time to be exceedingly polite to your doctor's receptionist will pay off EVERY TIME. I don't love my doctor, but I love that - when it's important - I can get in to see him quickly. That's worth so much.

Today was maybe 10% better than yesterday pain wise, but I took some good drugs to sleep last night (probably why I feel better today) - and I forgot how very, very ill they make me feel. I finally kept some food down for the first time around 2 pm today, but I'm still queasy and my head is still pounding.

I managed to make it to my client meeting this morning - only 15 minutes late (I called to warn them, no worries). Geoff + Briony dropped me off on their way to go get groceries and then I took the bus home. Winnipeg Transit sucks for LOTS of reasons, but for some inexplicable reason we have a direct connection from the end of our block to a stop that's within a block of most of my clients. Awesomeness.

Also awesome is the fact that one of my friends had the day off today and was able to drive me to my appointment this afternoon.

Even more awesome is the fact that my parents are keeping Briony overnight tonight to give me a chance to start my recovery process via some better drugs and some uninterrupted sleep (and a break from the nonstop guilt I'm feeling over not being able to take care of my daughter). The only problem is that I feel like a WORSE mommy for needing to do this. And I miss her. A lot.

Now for the tough part... My appointment today did not go the way I had hoped. I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet, but I will soon. The short version is that I can't get the help and support I need from my family doctor - so we're playing a waiting game now. In the meantime, I'm dealing with uncontrolled pain and no access to meds.

The panic is just beneath the surface and it is very, very real. I'm praying for some sunshine in the morning.

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