Out Of The Loop
After all my joking about being old, I'm *really* feeling it today (and not just because I'm in the middle of a fibro flare). I'm trying to decide whether or not to show up at a launch party for a client campaign being hosted by the agency I work(ed) for.As a sidenote, I never know how to phrase my employment-related thoughts... I know that mat leave in Canada is considered continuous employment wherever you worked until you pushed a baby out (or got too fat to fit behind a computer anymore), but I haven't actually gone to work there in... holy cow!... almost eight months and counting. It's incredibly strange.
Anyway. Back to the issue at hand. I'm finding that I'm at a point in my mat leave where I've been removed from the world for so long that the idea of 'going out' kind of intimidates me. Why? I have no idea. These are my friends and coworkers, and a mere nine months ago, I would not have hesitated to switch into some cute heels, add an extra coat of mascara, and plant myself squarely in the middle of the party.
But now... It's just different. I feel old, and out of the loop, and kind of apologetic - if that makes any sense at all.
I really want to do my hair and go and have fun and see people, but I also really want to stay in my jeans and comfy orange shirt and bare feet and bake cookies. We shall see which Lindsay wins tonight.
PS - As a related sidenote, if you're on Facebook and love Coldplay, become a fan of Grant's Degree of Separation before the end of this weekend. They'll be giving away two pairs of floor seats on Monday.
Labels: Cocoon, Mommy Stuff
posted by Lindsay @ 11:21 AM
4 Comments:
It's just priorities. You're a mom. There is nothing more important in this world that you could do for a job after you have been a mother. But-- you also deserve to take advantage of this experience. Mom's also need "me time". God knows I do. lol.
Work stuff's weird on mat leave. I didn't go to many events (and they forgot to invite me to most of the other ones :). I would try and listen when they talked about stuff, but I just couldn't. Part of me was saying, "I don't care!" and the other part was saying, "That's a stupid way to do things..."
Probably why I quit...
Maybe it's different for dads, but I took parental leave for all three of our kids and I liked staying in the loop at work. I worked the maximum allowed by EI; something like $105/week, which is less than a day a week -- just enough to keep the inbox from overflowing too badly, attend the odd big-picture meeting and do some design work. The extra $400/month came in awfully handy too, because we were trying to get by on the EI max as a single income.
Psychologically it was nice to switch gears and enjoy adult company with no kiddie demands for a day a week. I'd go to the pub for lunch with work friends those days and it was a real treat.
We (I'm sure Tannis would corroborate) can also relate to the phenomenon you described -- when you get used to staying at home and your days are so inward focusing, going out anywhere becomes a big deal. In terms of how to relate to people at work, part of the fear is that you just don't have much in common right now -- the things you cared about together before don't matter to you right now, and the thing(s) you care about most right now don't really matter to them.
Which Lindsay won this night?
Funny you should ask... I'm not really sure which Lindsay ended up winning.
I talked to Amber in the afternoon, and she totally talked me into going. I then spent the better part of the early evening deciding on what to wear. Just before I was about to start getting ready, Geoff called from work - his patient had just crashed and he was going to be very, very late coming home. And so, I ended up at home with Briony after all. Life's funny.
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