Mommy's Night Out
So yesterday was Girls Night Out, in honour of Emily's 29th birthday (a for real 29, not an attempt to be cute). We spent the evening at Celebrations, watching a dinner theatre spoof of Sex and the City. It was fun... But I had a sudden random deluge of foreign mommy feelings that I hadn't experienced before.I'd been looking forward to this night out for weeks. Actually, Emily made me promise I'd come when I was probably five months pregnant. I secured my parents as babysitters (Geoff was working), and we booked the tickets. But when it was actually time to get ready... I didn't want to go. I went, of course. But the entire time I was sitting there, I just wanted to get home and snuggle my baby girl.
I think that part of that urge was just the insecurity of being OUT. I couldn't find anything to wear that I didn't feel totally disgusting in, I didn't have time to do my hair like I normally would have, and I definitely hadn't had time for a nap. I had to scrounge around to find a purse at the last second, when I realized that I'd been carrying a diaper bag - and only a diaper bag - for two months. And when I got there, I felt dull - this horrible and terrifying feeling that I had absolutely nothing to contribute to a conversation that was about any topic under the sun other than BABY. When I talked, I'm pretty sure that's what I talked about - because my entire world right now is Briony. I was even boring and annoying myself. That's never a good sign.
I had a good time. I was just surprised by all the feelings and insecurities that came out, and I'm still processing what the heck happened inside of my head.
Sigh. It will get easier, I'm sure. For today, I'm happy to be back at home. Briony doesn't care about my post-baby tummy. And she is the best little cuddle buddy. As long as I feed her and change her, I'm pretty sure she thinks I am perfect.
Labels: Emily, Mommy Stuff
posted by Lindsay @ 4:22 PM
2 Comments:
Lindsay, I know all about those foreign mommy feelings. Going back to work has brought them all to the surface again...it feels like I have been in some sort of baby time warp for a year and I forgot that while I was cuddling my sweetheart the world continued to function. I am slowly building up a new wardrobe, learning to talk about topics other than babies (I must admit if someone brings the topic up I feel so much better), and when the day is through all I still want to do is go curl up with my (not so cuddly anymore) baby. So in a nutshell...a mommy's world really does only truly revolve around one very special little person.
Good for you having your first night out. Haven't really done that yet - not a real, honest-to-goodness girls' night with no baby. Just a couple hours here and there.
Funny how quickly you feel naked without them, eh? I mean, Mom took her around the mall for an hour while I was shopping and I kept thinking I was missing something, and looking for the stroller to push. Then I decided I wanted her back because then the little, itty bitty sales girl would know that look good for someone with an 8 month old. ~sigh~ Some battles you just can't win!
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