runlindsayrun

Defining Relationships

A funny thing happens when you're going through tough stuff... You realize very, very quickly who your true friends are. These are the people who aren't scared away by a stormcloud or two. They'd prefer to see you laughing, but they're just as willing to sit with you while you cry - and they'll probably even shed a tear or two alongside you (or, at the very least, hand you Kleenex and lie about how your face does not look blotchy and scary). They are unconditional.

What might come as a greater surprise is that you also realize who your true family is. And many times, they might not even be related to you.

You count on losing a few friends when things get rough. You don't really ever expect to find segments of your family missing - you expect that they'll be on your team, no matter what. And that's dangerous, because it's so much easier to be hurt or disappointed by the people who share your genetic material. But there's a really beautiful security that comes from 'family' friends, because you aren't stuck with each other - you chose each other.

Before I start any rumours or hurt any feelings, I need to say that I've been blessed with a pretty special immediate family. My parents and my siblings are very important to me, and I know that I'm important to them. We don't see eye to eye on many things, and we're incredibly busy people - but I don't doubt for a second that, if I really needed them, they'd be there in a heartbeat (and that works both ways). I know that because it's been proven. It's the step beyond that family unit that becomes a little more hit-and-miss, and where you start to fill in the gaps with some very special friends.

Just being honest :)

I always thought that it was your family who defined you. I'm starting to think that's wrong. I think that - maybe - it's your family who forms your foundation and starts you in the right direction... And then it's the people who *become* your family (related or not) who love you unconditionally, and - through that love - give you the freedom you need to help you define yourself.

Labels: Family, My Friends, Stuff I'm Thinking About

posted by Lindsay @ 2:40 PM