A Little Bit Lost
I thought I'd feel better if I spent a day taking care of my mom. I really can't tell if spending time here is making it better or worse (for me or for my family).There weren't any surprises. She's sick. I knew that she'd be sick. I just didn't expect to feel this helpless, or so utterly useless. There's nothing at all that I can do to fix this - or even to make it easier.
I was determined to spend a good part of today in the kitchen, ensuring they have some good food on hand for those in-between moments when she's able to eat a little bit. But she's too queasy to handle the smell of cooking right now. Good job, Lindsay. This first round of chemo is definitely the 'learning round.' Next time, I'll cook at home and then bring it here when it's finished. The things no one tells you... :)
It's all okay. I'm just feeling kind of discouraged. There's no manual for this. I had a good cry in the shower this morning - I think just because I don't have a hot clue what to do in this crazy, foreign situation. (And I'm supposed to be the cheerleader here!)
Labels: Family, The C Word
posted by Lindsay @ 11:43 AM
4 Comments:
The learning curve...I guess you and your family will figure out what is best - visits, food, activities, etc. It sounds like your Mom has a terrific 'cheerleader' - you're doing a great job. You just won't have instant gratification/satisfaction of a job well done. It's sort of like parenting - one does ones best and the long term outcome is great:)
Oh no, Lindsay, what you're doing is great! (I should have thought to mention that about the food, too!). I'm sure your mom appreciates everything. Just a heads' up too - watch out for canned foods (tuna, mushrooms, tomatoes, anything you might use in a recipe), one thing my mom could always pick out was the "canned, aluminum" taste. And I hear that's pretty common.
Stay tough, darnit!
PS: And make her one of the cupcakes from the recipe I just posted...they're really good. I know she's not supposed to be eating that stuff right now, but one never hurt ;)
Thanks for the e-hugs, and the advice! :)
Mmm... Cupcakes...
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