Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Testing the Trust Thing

So it seems that my newly discovered state of trust-induced zen is being taken for a test drive. My mom got the call this morning that she'll be starting radiation tomorrow afternoon. Nothing like advance warning to prepare yourself, hey? As incredibly selfish as it sounds, my immediate reaction was to throw a little internal hissy fit in God's general direction. I was *supposed* to have my baby before this happened. And I was very clear about that expectation of mine...

In so many ways, it's great news that she's starting so soon. It means that there's a chance she'll be done by Christmas - and that would be incredible. I can't even imagine the Christmas celebration my family has in store this year, with my mom's cancer journey nearing its close, and TWO new baby girls to enjoy.

For today, I need to trust that my mom is going to be one of those people who sails through the first couple of weeks of radiation appointments with no side effects at all. I need to trust this because - with a baby on the way and my arthritis refusing to go away - I am going to need my mom. I know that other people can help, but it's not the same. The silver lining is that my mom is going to be at HSC for radiation every single day for the next five to six weeks, which is only ten minutes away from our house. So as long as she's not experiencing any major side effects, she'll be very close by and able to stop in and help.

Please pray for my family tomorrow. I'm feeling a little bit nervous about my appointment with my obstetrician in the afternoon (my last one!), and my mom's first radiation treatment will be happening almost simultaneously.

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At November 12, 2008 7:31 PM, Blogger Margaret said...

Prayers for your family - ALL of you. You are going through an incredibly difficult time - physically and emotionally. God doesn't give us more than we can handle....but we sometimes wonder.

Thinking of you often Lindsay.

At November 12, 2008 7:59 PM, Blogger Nikki and Shane said...

Lindsay: I feel bad I've been quiet on the commenting front, but I've been following your journey as close as I can in between the demands of my work and the move.

I'm thinking about you often and sending up prayers for you and for Briony's impending (and hopefully swift once it actually arrives) delivery.

My question is this: Do you need anything and if so what and how can I help? I know how hard this waiting is and I can't imagine how it must feel with the added situation of your mom's radiation. Please don't hesistate to ask.

At November 12, 2008 8:26 PM, Anonymous Marilyn said...

Prayers for both you and your Mom sent with love...

At November 13, 2008 12:11 AM, Blogger Tannis said...

Ai yi yi. You've got so much going on I'm amazed you can string words together every day. You & your family are in my thoughts often every day.


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