Friday, April 09, 2010

Bye Bye Baby

I'm at work all day today. (At work for real, not working from home.) Briony's at home taking some tentative steps between hanging onto Katie's fingers and whatever object she's aiming for.

Part of me wants her to wait for me. Part of me just wants for her to be successful, and to figure it out whether I'm there beside her or not, and understands that the first steps I actually see her take will be her 'first steps' in my memory - and that's absolutely okay.

This mommy thing feels so complicated some days. And yet, when I think about it, there's nothing I can do about it. It's the simplest thing in the world because - really - it has nothing to do with me. This is *so* outside of my control. She'll walk, and she'll walk on her own terms and in her own time. She has sure as heck proven that these past couple of months. I can't control it, and I should get to work on accepting that because my ability to control anything ended at 6.40 in the morning on November 16, 2008.

But you can bet that I'll be cheering my heart out for her the first time I see those steps. As far as I'm concerned, nothing's official until mama says it's official :)

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