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One Whole Year

One whole year you have been ours. One whole year of cries, giggles, and every funny noise in between. One whole year of getting to know you. And I suspect we've barely scratched the surface.

I'll be honest, B. One year ago today I was pretty scared and emotional and overwhelmed. I had absolutely no idea what to do with you, how to take care of you and get you safely from a newborn to a one year old - and thinking beyond that was just way too much to consider. All of the books I had read to prepare for your arrival seemed so very inadequate. I didn't know anything at all except that I loved you. It turns out that love was all that we needed. Well, love and Starbucks... Your mommy has still not adjusted to the lack of sleep that sometimes happens when a baby moves in.

I still remember exactly what it felt like to hold you for the very first time. It was wonderful and strange. But I knew so absolutely that it was YOU. This lovely, chubby-cheeked baby with reddish blonde hair and impossibly dark eyes was our Briony. You looked nothing like I thought you would, but I knew you were ours and I knew that you were the baby who'd been kicking and wiggling up a storm as you grew inside of me. So many things you did in those first hours and days were absolutely familiar to me - your patterns, your movements, the way you kept you hands up by your face exactly like you had in all your ultrasound pictures (and the way you still sleep with a blanket or a favourite stuffed animal all cuddled up). I often wondered if it felt the same way to you, being thrust into a brand new world, but finding those little things that felt familiar to you - the sound of my heartbeat, your daddy's voice. It was those little things that helped me realize that we were going to be absolutely okay, because we would figure it out together.

It's been a crazy, wonderful year. We've had so many adventures together - you, me, and your daddy - that it's hard to pick favourites. But we've taken many, many photos and videos to capture as many of them as we possibly could.

Just last month, we dedicated you in the church where I grew up and made a promise to do the best job that we could as parents, to teach you right from wrong and to pray for you every day. As part of the dedication service, the pastor talked about each baby's name and what it meant. We knew already that the name Briony has Greek and English origins and that it's the name for a vine or a plant with little flowers. And we knew that your middle name - Evangeline - means good news, and we picked that name for you because finding out that you were on your way to our family was the best news ever at a very hard time for us. But on your dedication day, the pastor shared that the bryony plant was used for centuries as a healing plant that made sick people well again. I very nearly broke down crying in front of the entire church when he said that because we had chosen your name because we thought it was pretty - and it turns out that your 'pretty' name has a very special meaning too. It just made me more sure than ever that your name is a perfect fit.

I don't know if you will ever understand how much you have helped to heal our family - first in knowing that you were coming, and now just because of the way you are Briony. You are a wonderfully funny, friendly little girl who makes everyone around you giggle along with whatever you're up to. You dance and you chatter and you play... You are just so very happy to be alive. It makes it pretty difficult to have a bad day.

I thank God for making you Briony, and for choosing you to be a part of our family - it's a perfect fit. Your daddy and I look at each other almost every day and talk about how lucky we are. We were so very happy. And then we had you and you have brought a new kind of joy to us - a great big joy that makes the whole world seem just a little bit more colourful than it looked on the day before we met you.

We love you so very much, and wish you a happy birthday and a wonderful second year in the world. It's so much fun to explore it all with you.

Love,
Mommy

Labels: Briony, Briony's First Year

posted by Lindsay @ 7:50 AM