Ready or Not
Another week... And I'm so determined to make this week better than last week. (Shouldn't be too hard. Maybe I should learn to set more challenging goals for myself?)I'm happy to say that I have some good news to report. I'm not sure if it's the new meds or just my flare running its course - so hard to tell sometimes - but my pain is less than it was last week. Friday night, I was contemplating calling a cab to take me to the ER because the pain was so unbearable. Today, I ache constantly from head to toe - but the pain isn't making me crazy anymore. I still have weak, tingling arms and legs. But the pain is bearable again. Thank god.
What I'm dealing with instead are nasty medication side effects. I feel so nauseated, I lay in bed for hours this morning, too scared to move because I thought I'd be sick. I finally talked myself into walking across the hall to the bathroom, where I sat for over an hour, trying not to be sick. I've had a wicked headache and this ringing/buzzing in my ears since about two hours after my first dose, and I feel like my eyes are fuzzy (yes, my glasses are on - shut up). And I'm absolutely listless, which I hate more than anything else.
I'm miserable. But here's the thing: if it's the meds that are taking the edge off my pain, then going off them will make me hurt like crazy again. I'm at a total loss. I want to do what's healthy for my body - but I don't know what that is.
But ready or not, it will be Monday in two hours. And so another week begins.
UPDATE 09.25 (MONDAY): Turns out, I was not so much ready. These side effects are ridiculous, and I am extremely sensitive to light and sound - on top of the nausea, headache, and dizziness I've been dealing with on and off all weekend. And so, I made the call to work from home today. I hate that I feel guilty about it, but I know that I need to take care of myself. And the sound of my alarm this morning reverberated inside my head until I cried this morning.
If you're the praying kind, please pray that these side effects will start to let up today. I can't risk going off these meds and having my pain increase again - and I don't want to have to make that decision.
UPDATE 13.20 (MONDAY): As a weird side note... I've been noticing that my jaw has been hurting me lots this weekend - I keep on catching myself clenching my teeth together really tightly, and it's like I can't stop myself from doing it. I googled it, and it turns out to be a side effect of the medication. WEIRD.
Labels: Arthritis/Fibromyalgia, Can You Handle The Truth?, My Life
posted by Lindsay @ 7:19 PM
3 Comments:
I have heard that sometimes the side effects are as bad or worse than the condition the medication is trying to help. Not a nice dilemma to be in...to have to decide which is worse and eliminate something): Do you need Pugsly back to distract you? Just kidding:)
I'm really hoping that the girl I'm seeing next weekend will have some ideas for me - herbal stuff I can be taking, and advice on which foods I could eliminate from my diet. If there's a less toxic treatment out there, I'm definitely ready to hear about it... I can't help but worry about what these drugs are doing inside of me, when the external manifestations are so dramatic.
odd that jaw clenching, usually a side effect of anxiety, is coming at you as a side effect of anti depressants that you don't really need, in the normal sense.
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