The Art of the Playdate
So here's something funny about becoming a mommy for the very first time... Nobody really instructs you in the art of the playdate. And it's an art, trust me. The thing is, I don't think I'm good at it.From what I've been able to gather, you are supposed to sit around in a home of someone who has a small child - with your small child in tow - and talk about said children, maybe sip a cup of coffee, definitely not eat very much, and then pack up when your child starts being a little disruptive or when you need to leave and continue on with your errand-running (whether real or invented for the express purpose of extracting yourself and your tiny offspring from said playdate). Which is all fine. But I find myself wanting so much more. I want to talk about current events and careers and postpartum depression and expectations of marriage and motherhood... And from what I can tell, in most playdate circles, that's generally frowned upon. You're *supposed* to talk about your kids. It's okay to talk about teething, but not okay to ask about how their relationship with their mother has changed since they became a mother themselves. It's cool to bring up a labour story, but not cool to wonder out loud how they've managed to adapt to a new role that doesn't involve going into an office every day where you are defined by whatever your business card says. It's all incredibly fascinating to me - this social network that's as foreign to me as the gay men's alliance on Mars.
And that's alright, I guess. I can small talk with the best of them. I just don't really WANT to small talk. But I also don't really want to destroy friendships with the only people I know who are at home during the day :)
Disclaimer: I know that this is a total stereotype and maybe a slight exaggeration. And I have had some delightful 'playdates' thus far. I'm merely making some observations about the world as I see it through my own sarcasm-coloured lenses :)
Labels: Mommy Stuff
posted by Lindsay @ 5:27 PM
4 Comments:
Funny you say that about play dates. I don't mind them at all because at least we get out and socialize with other kids and moms, but I hate when it comes to the whole talk about where all the children are in their milestones and it almost becomes a"oh yeah...well my child does this...". I would love to go to a play date in sweats, drink double chocolate chip frapps from Starbucks and not talk about my kids or am I just being selfish and living in a play date dream world?
Hey, I *love* the fact that it's a way to get out of the house and socialize... It's just hilarious to me that I feel like I'm a person who can easily navigate lots of social situations, but I'm completely bewildered by the playdate :)
(You're not selfish at all, or dreaming. That sounds lovely. Especially the Starbucks part.)
You can come here and let loose if you want :) I'll gladly talk about anything you want. I avoid "playdates" with people I don't know well because I hate small talk. I usually end up divulging more than is necessary or applicable because I'm not the subtle type.
I hear you 100%. A brief kid update is fine, but THE WHOLE time talking about our children gets tiresome. I want more. Meaty or not-so-meaty. Just more. Oh and btw, I'm totally up for sweats on Tuesday if you are!
If the weather is nice maybe we can go for a monster walk. I haven't had Palmer in his stroller for close to a year so I'm not sure how that will go over, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
Post a Comment
<< Home