Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Still Winning

Something that inspired and encouraged me today, from KeepWorkingGirlfriend.com - a website for women in the workforce with chronic illness.

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"We [my friend and I] started talking about what I, personally, require to be successful in business. And then she said the most amazing thing. She said, “Joan, you were ill for many, many years and you’ve only had your full energy back for two years. You’re really doing very well and you need to give yourself a break.”

"I don’t know if you, too, feel the importance of these two sentences, but they made a world of difference to me. I’d never stopped working - unless you count disability leave - so I didn’t understand the real impact of being ill for so long. I was just living my life, doing the best I can.

"Now I see my present situation differently. I see that I’m actually on track to regain my financial capacity to take care of myself, and that I’m in a very similar place in my career path as I was before being ill. This time I’m in business for myself, working in partnership with some great people to get our work done. I’m a trainer, once again, but in a different field. Hm. Time to look through a different lens, don’t you think?

"It was real. I was derailed, and so I think I’ll appreciate and love myself a little more today. Will you do the same for you?"

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I know that Old Lindsay was really good about keeping her worries to herself. But I relate to this article so much, and New Lindsay isn't afraid to be honest.

Being sick just becomes a part of 'normal' and you lose track of all the ways it affects you. I know that, for me - just between missed work, medication, alternative therapies, and surgery costs - it's been incredibly expensive for me to be sick. And that financial strain has caused so much stress for me. No person as young as I am should have to be paying back personal loans that covered surgery costs.

This past year, it's been *finally* feeling like it's maybe going to be okay... Thank god for families who love us and support us and co-sign for us :)

I've spent way too long feeling ashamed of where I'm at and what I've accomplished. I mourn what's missing instead of celebrating everything I have. This month marked fifteen years of my life with chronic disease, but I know that I'm still winning.

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1 Comments:

At April 25, 2007 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right on, Lindsay! Keep the chin up as high as it will go! We all have personal 'burdens' and you aren't exempt. Yours is just different from most of us. Prayers, Marilyn

 

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