runlindsayrun

Pieces of Me

I spent some time on MSN yesterday with a friend I haven't talked to in a long time - way too long. She's a little sister to me, and I love how she trusts me and lets me into her world. She wanted to talk about image - about learning to love yourself and constantly comparing.

It was one of those life experiences I felt grossly unequipped to handle. I feel like I'm the last person in the world who should be giving that kind of advice.

Eventually, we become comfortable in our own skin. Today, I'm happy being Lindsay. That wasn't something that happened overnight, and it didn't happen because other people told me I was great. I had to figure out for myself that I'm great. And that's a slow, delicate process (and a supersize therapy bill :)

My conversation with her got me thinking about my own journey, and it made me think about what our Young Adults group at church has been discussing lately. It often seems like the last place you can share about your real struggles is in the church. I'm not really sure why that is... Fear of judgment, probably. The value placed on a perfect facade. The idea that *real* Christians don't have struggles. All untrue, I know. But I know it in my head, not in my heart.

Wouldn't it be crazy if we all just took off our masks? I wonder how many of us would have been able to avoid what we've gone through if we'd been allowed the opportunity to learn from another. I wasn't the first teenage girl to struggle with an eating disorder. And I won't be the last. But could there be one less name on that list if I shared with my friend what I've overcome?

I'm ashamed to admit that I wasn't brave enough to tell her about it yesterday. I don't know why... I just didn't want to be something less in her eyes.

But maybe I've just been programmed to hide it.

L

posted by Lindsay @ 4:40 PM