runlindsayrun

Killer

This afternoon, I embarked upon what is probably the single most ridiculous thing I have ever done for my job... I am on a mission to kill two houseplants by Wednesday. (For a photo shoot, not for fun. Though I'll admit, it is a little bit fun.)

I went to Walmart today (because I thought they'd have the unhealthiest plants) and then proceeded to pick the two that looked the sickliest. To my disappointment, they actually look pretty feisty. I brought them back to our office, where I proceeded to feed them paint thinner (it had a giant, cartoon-like poison symbol on the bottle). I'll put them in a dark closet for the weekend and see how they're doing on Monday. If they're not looking sick by then, it will be time to get experimental.

The suggestions I've received so far (feel free to submit your ideas!):
- Gasoline
- Alcohol
- Nail polish remover
- Diet Coke
- Subject it to verbal abuse

If I can't pull off this little project, it's going to be SO FUNNY. I kill plants accidentally all the time. Now let's see how I perform under pressure.

L

The Official 'BEFORE' Picture


Exhibit 1: Paint Thinner


UPDATE (5.18 pm) - Did some online research and found some articles that began with some varation on this sentence: 'No one sets out to deliberately kill a houseplant...' Joke's on them. These Martha wannabes would DIE if they know I was using their gardening tips for evil. Anyway. One such article suggested that plants don't like salt. So I poured some into their soil (and added just a dash of pepper, for artistic flair). They are now safely tucked away underneath the kitchen sink for the weekend.

Exhibit 2: Salt & Pepper


Exhibit 3: Light Deprivation
(note ironic proximity of Sunlight dish soap bottle :)

posted by Lindsay @ 3:44 PM