The Delicate Art of Boat Construction
I don't like dependence when I choose it. When I'm given no choice, it's just plain irritating. Especially when the thing I'm forced to depend on isn't reliable.Today, it's my laptop at work. I've been dealing with frequent crashes, with devastating results - something that is NOT supposed to happen on a Mac. I'm left a little impotent without it... It's incredibly how much we rely on technology to live our everyday lives.
In my personal life, I'm working on becoming more dependent. I'm not the kind of person who sees a bridge over a river and just bounds right across it - even if I spy a shoe sale on the other side. I'd rather know who built that bridge, research its structural integrity, watch a few fat people tromp over it - and look around for a safer-looking way to get across. In the end, I'll build my own boat (so I KNOW it's a good boat) and row myself across the river.
Hm. Maybe that metaphor went too far. I have absolutely no idea how to build a boat.
In the past, I know that I've hurt people by not being 100% honest about what I'm feeling and what's going on in my life. I thought I was protecting them, when in reality I was doing exactly the opposite. It's really stretching me to learn to open up and be vulnerable in that way to the people in my life who love me and have proven themselves to be trustworthy. And I'm sure it will be a lifelong journey to try and figure this one out. Along the way, with my first experimental little baby steps, I'm learning that it's pretty incredible what happens when you let yourself count on others.
In the meantime... The other form of dependency - the non-human version - has totally burned me. Argh. At least I have my Inspector Gadget-esque cell phone, my Google calendar, and all our office computers share a central server :)
Labels: My Life
posted by Lindsay @ 12:49 PM
4 Comments:
Good for you that you're learning to rely on others more. We can't do it on our own "no man is an island". God designed us to keep each other afloat (no need to build boats :D) I wish I were closer to be one of your floaters...
Awww... Thankfully, a mouse click spans kilometres :)
You get 15 points for your 'keep each other afloat' comment with tie-in to my original post. Very impressive.
Just 15? Sheesh. Good thing you opted NOT to be a teacher. :)
Minus 16 for you.
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